Help I'm In A Slump!

[DShock]

I know there are others out there that have gone through trials, like the loss of loved ones and divorce.
I had a married life for 32 yrs and for the last year and a half I have been single.
My divorce had a devastating effect on my fly tying and fly fishing.
I would appreciate any advise on what I could do to get back into the swing of things.
As everyone knows, FAOL and fly fishing are very important to me.
I've got all these fly tying materials in two big cases in my bedroom and sometimes I roll over and look at them and wonder if I'm ever going to touch them again.
Losing my wife and son hurt me. I can pretend to be tough but it's not reality.
Obviously I'm a pest around here, so I still want to be connected to fly fishing.
I do enjoy being single but I want to make some new fishing memories.
Thanks,
Doug

[ELKHUNTER]

I have been through it also Doug. I was not married nearly as long as you but having my wife leave tore me apart. She had three kids when I married her and I treated and loved them like they were my own. And I miss them all greatly. Like you I also pretended to be tough. It has been about 12 years now and although I like the single life and the freedom it offers I still would like to have a wife and kids again. It took me several years to get over the hurt and there are times when it comes back to haunt me. All I can say is to hang in there and keep the faith. Being on the stream fishing ,or in the mountains hunting ,helped me alot. It gave me time alone to reflect back on the relationship and what went wrong. It helped me to realize that I was not at fault. Good friends can help you through just about everything and the friends here at FAOL are some of the best. I am sure all would gladly give you a shoulder to lean on when needed.

Just get back out on the river Doug and cherish each new friendship you make while doing what you enjoy. Who knows, you may just find someone special out there who enjoys it as much as you do. I know I keep my fingers crossed that I will run across a gal who likes to hunt and fish as much as I do.

You are not alone Doug

Rocky

[clyde holmes]

Doug, Sent ya a PM. You took the hardest step. Being macho is a load of poop. Sometimes we all need someone to be there. Get back to me.

[Eric-WD]

Doug, I can't help with the loss that you feel, I have never experienced divorce. but I do know what it is like to sit around and feel depressed. Part of fighting it is to force yourself to get up and do.
I'm sure there are other tyiers out there who would like to join a tying group. (I have thought of starting one here). Place a few adds in your local shopping paper, (Nickle ads) and post a couple of signs at the local fly shops. With in a couple of weeks you can be spending a couple of nights a month or more tying with friends. Probably find people to fish with.

If not Boy Scouts has a Fly Fishing Merit badge and is always looking for councilors, and there is always a need for beginners classes. Teaching others is a great way to help us forget our problems.

I know geting out won't end all the problems but it is a start.

Good luck, I know it is hard for you

Eric

[Photojoe4]

Doug, shoot a PM/Email to either Clyde or me, and we'll take ya fishin. Might even let ya try out a rod or 2 (or 3 or 5....). Actually, I'm thinking of hitting the Santiam tomorrow if you'd be interested.

Regards,
Joe Martin
Salem, OR
Photojoe4@aol.com

[chewydog]

I've got all these fly tying materials in two big cases in my bedroom and sometimes I roll over and look at them and wonder if I'm ever going to touch them again.

I would think it would be easier to get back into it if you unpacked those cases and set up that bench.

[Betty Hiner]

Doug,

There is nothing wrong with asking for help when you need it. You'd go to a doctor if you broke your arm, or had to have treatment for diabetes.Going to a doctor for depression may be the best gift you ever gave yourself! After I had a stroke everyone kept saying, "get up!" "Do something!" ... like I could! Going to a doctor saved my life (hummm, that sounds like I needed a physician, which I did, and who saved my life after the stroke, but it was the pshychiatrist who helped me save my life, which was in serious jeopardy). There's no way I'd be sitting here talking to you were it not for ME finally placing a call.

Roll over, and make a call. Then go unpack those boxes, cuz you'll be feeling much better quickly, and you'll need the stuff that's in the boxes!

You are loved. You've got a huge family here and we want what's best for you to be happy.
Betty

[WarrenP]

DShock,

The following is what I do when I get in a "tying slump". I have fly tying DVD's and fly tying books and when I just cannot get into the spirit of tying something, I just dig out the DVD's or the tying books and start viewing/reading and one of them will get me back into the tying mode. I fish every chance I get and I have my "go to" flies that really work well for me, but, I get tired of tying the same flies over and over and want to try something new. Just today, I was leafing through my copy of Woolly Wisdom and discovered that there are some Woolly Buggers out there that I need to tie and try. I am a nymph fisherman and feel the pressure at times to try drys and discovered in the book that you can tie some Woolly Worms that are dry flies and a whole lot easier to tie than some of the dry flies out there. You need to get your mind off of the past and what was and start all new again. Give your fly tying and fishing a boost and devote a lot of time to both and this will help with the "slumps". Another thing I have done is offered to teach a "Beginners Fly Tying Class" here at the local college. That is really a fun thing to do and a joy to watch beginners learn how to tie the basic flies. The looks on their faces as they learn is priceless. I offered to teach this class and now I teach it twice a year and have been teaching it for the past 7 years. It does not take up much of your time since it is just one evening per week for 5 weeks for 3 hours each evening. I use Al Campbell's instructions here on FAOL and that is why I owe Al so much and miss him. You might get in touch with Jim Smith on this board and get you one of his dubbing rope blocks and start making dubbing ropes. I do this at times when I am just not into the tying mode or to stressed out to tie good flies. The dubbing ropes are fun to experiment with and make some great flies. While you are making them up, your mind will start coming up with some new fly patterns to use them on.

Hopefully, the above suggestions will help.

[Gnu Bee Flyer]

25 years ago when My ex left, She decided she didn't want either Me or the Kids. I was left with raising them as a single dad. I was lucky not to have lost them. Even so, I was in clinical depression for more than 2 years without realizing it. Finally My Sister came for a visit, recognized depression and forced me to go see a doctor. She probably saved my life. It is a long hard road back but it does get better. Several posters on here have already said it. You have to get up and do it. You need to start. You've taken the first step already by starting this thread.

My therapist asked me what Hobby I had liked doing in the past. It was raising tropical fish. So he had me set up a couple of 10 gallon aquariums. Once I got that done and bought a few fish I was back into it again. It really helped.

Maybe give yourself the goal of tying a dozen or even 2 dozen flies each one a different pattern. Do it even if you don't feel like it. You are not allowed to procrastinate on this one buddy. It may give you that jump start you need.
Good luck We are all with you.

[Gnu Bee Flyer]

Doug. I almost forgot the most important part. when you are finished the 2 dozen flies send them to me..
hahahaha!

Ok I know that was shameless , I learned it from Tuber.... ha ha!