"The Invitation"
I received your invitation to the fishing tournament, however, your untimely communication on said invitation will make it impossible for me to participate in what appears to be a well thought out fishing adventure with some of the local color. However, much consideration was given to the extension of your hospitality, and much conversation ensued referencing the above mentioned material. Here are the considerations;
1). It would be at least a twenty hour drive to Ipswich, leaving me slightly battered, therefore unable to step up my level of competitiveness rendering the competition unlevel and unfair.
2). Assuming there is not an International Airport nearer than New Jersey, I would have to rob a local bank in order to afford the $1600, two-stop, non-refundable ticket, then drive from somewhere in NJ to the coast of Ipswich, therefore, once again, dulling my skills as a top-notch, saltwater flyfisherman to the point of useless (this considering there is anyone left in NJ since I truely believe they have all moved to Florida).
3). I propose the invitaion was sent in delay to prevent the possible participant from showing up on the inviter's front door step with several bottles of cheap rum (half-full).
4). I also propose the inviter purposely delayed the sending of the invitation in a deliberate attempt to spare embarrassment to the inviter and his comrades when invitee took the trophy back to Florida.
So I submit...send it earlier next time; I might just show up! AAARRRGGGHHH!!!
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