Whatinell 'appened to the Schlitz?
Dang...now I'm really pissedoff...and I'll tell you why soz you can feel sorry for me and share my frusts...and maybe get a little steamed up too! For years I've been on medication that my Dr.s said would cause me to go cross-eyed, get fleas, shakes, boils, measels, night sweats, rabies and a whole host of wurster miseries if'n I tooked those pills with iny alkeyhol a tall. Well, I was a good boy and done just like they tole me...not havin no beer for years and years and a lot of months and weeks too. Now here's the good part...They took me off'n those damn pills so's now I can have me a beer eny timez I wants one. So where's my gripe? I'll tell ya where...when I was young,I'd buy me two 6 packs at a time, one of the best beer I'd found so far and a new brand to test it against. I wuz very sciency about it too. My wife would pour a glass of each without telling which wuz which. Sort of like a double blind test or sumptun. I dun this for a while, until I'd tested every beer in the county. I drunked a lot of lousy beer too but kept on testin' and testin' til I wuz a real exprit on beer! Now herz the bad part..I went to git me a pack of what kind of beer I liked best and wut do you think the store guy said? "We don't sell that stuff here! Went to the next store and wut do you think? HE said, "He He He, thats not a real beer, thats just from the Laverne and Shirley show. Try one of these here lights". I got the he** out of there fast and tried one more place. Good,the guy is an old geezer and no doubt knows what I want. I tole him the story jes like i'm tellin' ya' all and when I got near the end I cud see he was upset and tears wuz rollin down his wrinkley cheeks. And he said,"don't tell me no more, its too sad". And he went lookin for the crying towel. He comes back and I cud see the tears had slimed up one end of the towel. But he gave t'other end to me and I wet that up like a bar rag! He said "they won't ship me eny of that good beer, I have to sell this girly stuff. I only have two bottles of that good stuff left and I'm savin' that for a good time like if my bird dog comes back...one for me and one for ol' Bowzer". Sad! Sad! Sad! I sez I'll give ya five dollars for those two bottles... but he wouldn't sell it. Then jus' sell me one...I don't think Bowsers gonna come back. He sez "yeah maybe not...been gone 46 years but I ain't gona take no chance on it.
Enough of this. WHYINELL cant I buy Schlitz in this part of the country? I'm beginnin' to suspect some kinda shinanigan conspiracy or somthin. Dang! Dang! Dang!
Ol' Bill
[This message has been edited by snipe (edited 23 February 2005).]
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