girlfriend

[Jed]

As I reread your post, the question I would have asked is not "wht should I have done" but "what should I do".

You said you took her back. So be it. For your relation ship to work you willneed to talk and build trust again. She will need to be open about what happened and why. Apologies may be good, but true understanding is what is important. It is hard to talk about those things and why she left, and why she came back and how you feel about it and how you can rebuild trust, but talk you must.

For you, you have to be brutally honest with yourself and if you feel things are getting better, then stay with it, but if it feels phoney or false or in any way a sham, then it probably is and you should consider parting ways.

Good luck.
jed

How'd things end up? Good. Great actually. I'm happy again, and things are just gettin better. I really appreciated your advise, it helped me look at the situation from several viewpoints.
I ran a handful of senarios through my head, and in the end decided what I really want is her. I've never even frowned at her over what happened, just told her that I want her to be happy and I'll be there for anything. Indeed, she came to me to talk even when she was with "Princess"(LOL, other names I have for her little fling are Baby Face and Training Wheels, seeing he's 16 and Jenifer's 17. Thanks fully they never got past kissing).
My feelings for her, I can't describe them. Kinda like hot, cold, happy, anxious, everything rolled into one. It makes me happy to see her happy, and when she's sad or hurt I want to know why and help. Is this love? I think it might be, abd I'm going to act on it that way.
I guess we'll just see how things go. I can say that I'm now prepared for any hurt that may come along.
-Joe

Hey, since we got this thread goin...
Ladies, whats something you'd like to see given to you on Valentine's Day? Guys, anything in the past go well? I was thinkong flowers, thing of candy, some jewelery, and maybe anything else I think of.

[Flats Dude]

A flyrod....yeah, give her a flyrod! *G*

[Diane]

If I get a flyrod for Valentine's Day, I'll know I'm in heaven.

Otherwise, dinner out with a specially mixed CD sounds just fine.

[bamboo1963]

I gave my wife a Renzetti Traveler Vise for Valentine's Day last year. Now if that isn't love, I don't know what is.

[buttermilk]

The purpose of dating is to find out what you want and don't want in a spouse. With each new person you date, you will find things that you like and don't like and things that are an absolute requirement in a spouse for you. In the long run, it all leads up to the big questions; will she be devoted to having my children like she is devoted to me? Is she devoted to me? Can she "blow it off" when I bring my work home and really need to vent? Will my home be nice and clean and my kids well taken care of and loved? Will she make sacrifices and compromises to assure a peaceful, stable home for us? WILL I DO ALL THESE THINGS FOR HER? It's a learning opportunity, so look on it as just that and don't be so serious. Give yourself and her lots of time. Are your views on sex, religion, politics and money the same? Those are the four things that split most people apart. Know all these answers before you get serious!
Now,,,,a big one for you!! Have you fished everywhere you ever wanted to? You are at that stage in life where you have youth and freedom to go and do things you want to do before you settle down. A good woman is a "nest builder" and may not want to go and do as much as you. Would it be fair to her for you to drag her from one place to another. Get it done before you settle down. If it is meant to be, it will be. Trust in the Good Lord and yourself and believe that life is to be lived and enjoyed and go for it now.
This advice comes from looking back on 55 years of life, 30 of them with the finest wife a man could ask for. She has put up with a lot of stuff in 30 years and I believe I am the luckiest man alive. Was there one before her like the one you have? Absolutely! Now looking back, I realize it was the best thing that could ever happen to me that we didn't get together.
Good luck and keep in mind that the most serious thought you should have each day is where you are going to fish that day!!

Andy

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all types of fishermen must pull together for the good of all!!!

buttermilk, Maybe it's my age but that is not the reason I dated.

[Gringo]

Nice story Ledwater, I'm glad you are happy. Like I said, follow your heart. As for Valentines, who knows, something from the heart also.

[D. Micus]

ledwater, can i give you a peice of advice, though? don't feel that you need to spend your life making someone else happy. It will only ruin your own life.