Oh Jim, I am so sorry for your loss. We had Angela on our prayer chain. We will continue to pray for peace and comfort for you. Jim
Oh Jim, I am so sorry for your loss. We had Angela on our prayer chain. We will continue to pray for peace and comfort for you. Jim
I'm either going to, coming from or thinking about fishing. Jim
Jim, I think I have a good idea of how you feel right now as I lost my wife of almost 47 years in March. My sincere condolences!
Having a bit of a head start on you, I'll try to offer some advice.
First, your grief may manifest itself in lots of ways that totally surprise you. Do not keep it bottled up and private. Find people you trust and talk about it with them. (I was helped hugely by two friends who had become widowers before me.) Don't make any rash decisions until you have your head on straight. If faced with any major decisions, ask yourself how you would have decided while your wife was still alive.
Second, get a spiral notebook and use it exclusively for things related to your wife's death. You are about to be amazed at the amount of paperwork and bureaucracy you will encounter. And all of the details surrounding notifying people, making arrangements, rebalancing financial accounts, naming new beneficiaries, closing credit cards, etc. It is very hard to keep track of all this while you are in your current mental state. Having a notebook where you keep everything written down --to do's and dones --will really help.
Third, hire a lawyer to help you, preferably one who specializes in estate law, who is very well versed in your state's estate law quirks. I used a local message board to find a great one and am SO happy I did! She has been immensely helpful to me.
Fourth, while I hate to say it, my experience with funeral homes has not been positive. I'm sure there are great ones out there, but I have not met them. Instead, I've encountered companies that were incredibly predatory in dealing with grief-stricken customers. Decide in advance what you want from them, write it down and take it with you when you meet with them. Preferably, take an unemotional person you trust with you for the meeting. You may get hit with an incredible array of upsells and add-ons, presented by a person with a lot of experience with dealing with grief-stricken people. Keep to your original plan.
Hope this helps. Hang in there. It does start getting better after a while.
My sympathy, Jim. You will be In our prayers.
JIm.
I too add my sincerest condolences . The love of 47 years of my life is still with me and I cannot imagine life without her. Your pain must be great and you will be in my prayers.
Mark
Jim,
my sincere condolences. My wife went through breast cancer seven years ago. take heed of Oldfrat's advice.it is spot on.
Best,
Steve
it's all good drifts
Grace and Peace to you Jim; you are in my thoughts and prayers today.
Many, many thanks for the outpouring of love and caring from the FAOL family. I'll try to follow "oldfrat's" advice, it is good but right now I'm not handling it too well. This void is overbearing. I miss her so much. But, I have good friends and neighbors here and I'll get through. God bless you all. Jim
Jim, hate to say this, but it is probably going to get worse in the next few weeks as things really sink in. Use your support group, the folks you really trust. Then you'll hit bottom and you'll begin to bounce back. "Bounce" is probably too strong a word. You'll start to recover your stance in life and your ability to stand on your own two feet.
I've been going through that process for a while now. I suspect I am not unique, as I never have been in prior situations. You will get through this!
Brad
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