I can relate to where you are coming from and understand it completely. I am reading a book now and came to this passage and thought of it when I read your post:
"I do not know if I fish because I like fishing, or if I fish because I love rivers. I do know that I am happier when I am near or in a river and that I could not long exist far from them. The stream is a book with an endless number of pages; no matter how well one reads or how long, he will always be coming on new and exciting chapters. There is a never-ending fascination beneath the surface of a stream and the happy reader knows that he will never in his lifetime be finished with this lovely book."
(Charles E. Brooks' book titled: Nymph Fishing for Larger Trout)
That pretty much sums up why I fly fish streams and rivers.......
Warren
Fly fishing and fly tying are two things that I do, and when I am doing them, they are the only 2 things I think about. They clear my mind.