I am sorry for your multiple losses over the past couple of months. As John suggested, two or three losses are bad enough ..... but five can simply complicate things on your end. It's my opinion we can ask a lot of deep questions during seasons of loss and not find many (any?) answers that truly satisfy. What I will offer is this .... I suspect all of your friends considered it an honor to be called "friend" by you. Hang in there and go catch a ton of fish in their honor. Greg