I starting fishing with my dad just before I was two. (worm bobber stuff). I took my grandson for his first fly fishing lesson when he was around 18 months old.
He sat on my lap and we "dapped" for bluegills. (He scored a little bass here) My hand was on the rod and him at all times. It wasn't about fishing so much as it was a great way to keep him entertained and enjoying being outdoors on a nice day. He was able to watch the bluegills come up and take the surface fly and watch the wild life on the pond as well.
The following year we did pretty much the same thing. At three we were still doing pretty much the same thing...only this time a big rainbow took the fly. I don't have a photo of that because he didn't want to get that close to the fish. lol At four I had him holding the rod on his own. (Use a tether if your smart.) I showed him how to roll cast. I didn't allow a full basic cast. I modified a rod and reel set up. (Short 2/3wt with some backing and a short section of old fly line). He was doing pretty well with the blue gills. I still removed the fish for him and tie on the flies.
I don't think 4 is too young to get them started. Just be patient and don't expect too much. They also have VERY SHORT attentions spans...so if you want to keep him actively fishing...take him somewhere where there a lot of bluegills. If he can see them, then all the better. They don't have to be big ones.
This is Ben at 4...
I only get to take out fishing once or twice a year. I don't expect much. I also don't expect to be out all day. It's good to plan a short outing or make it varied with other activities...like maybe Geocaching and have lots of little snacks. If your really smart, you'll take him home while he's still having a good time. (this makes them eager to go again) Don't wait until he comes to you saying he's had enough.
As for letting him try at the show. No harm in that. I've watched Joe Humphreys coach a young kids on more than one occation. He had them casting within a couple of minutes. You can always fashion and indoor casting rod out of half of an old rod and some jumbo yarn. They can't hurt much with that.
Here is a sight you might find interesting http://www.takekidsflyfishing.com/
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