Thanks for all the suggestions everyone. Hopefully I will have time tonight to try some more.

I have been tying in by the stem because I am following the lead of Dave Hughes in his Wet Flies book. For the grouse I am using the neck feathers so I am finding them to have a very small stem. When tying in with the tip do you wrap forwards or backwards?

I am going to start with the hydration/steam route and add suggestions until it gets easier.

The silk I have is pearsalls...but it is old...maybe it is time to buy some new stuff.