I am SO innocent! I just got back from fishing off the coast of Africa. Two glorious weeks of big game fishing. The last day my guide couldn't go out but lent me his old clunker boat to go out myself. Everything was going great with more fine fishing until the old boat gave up the ghost and just SANK underneath me. No life preserver and too far from land to swim...then the fins came towards me. But they were not sharks, they were porpoises!

I must have been getting delirius as one porpoise said to the other "Shall we save him?" The other: "No, not unless he helps us."

I'll help you, I'll help you." I said. Then they explained they were immortal, talking porpoises, but in order to keep their mortality, they had to eat sea gulls and the local sea gulls had grown too wise to them.

So I gave them my word I would help them and they swam me to a local island. I staggered ashore and looked for sea gull nests. I spotted some near the shore and started towards them when I was startled to see a sleeping pride of lions between me and the nests. But I had given mt WORD! So I quietly crept through them, climbed the tree and robbed the nests of young sea gulls. I quietly crept back through the sleeping lions and made it to the shore and was about to deliver the gulls to the porpoises WHEN I WAS ARRESTED!

I was arrested for transporting young gulls over sedate lions for immortal porpoises!

Very, very punny.