Stupid Questions......

[ranchwife]

I teach middle school and each year I start the year by stating that there are such things as stupid questions. I state that if they are asking questions about what we are learning, they aren't stupid questions. But if a student asks a question about a direction or something that I have just told the class (nonacademic) because they weren't listening, that is a stupid question and it will be ignored. This saves me a lot of time dealing with kids who don't pay attention and ask questions about something that I have already told the class.

[EdD]

I get asked that WHILE I'm fishing. :/

I have too, but given my casting "skills", I always cut the viewer some slack. When I'm casting, there is actually room for doubt...



Ed

[Grizzly Wulff]

Back in the early 30's, my dad was a ranger at Mount Rainer NP. He used to like to tell the story of the lady that walked up to him one day, pointed at Reflection Lake, and asked. "How do you get the lake so blue?" My dad responded, "Each spring we drain the lake and paint the bottom." She walked away satisfied.

My uncle was the Chief Ranger at Yosemite for about 15 years in the 40's and 50's, and one of the major attractions in the Park was the nightly "Fire Fall" off Glacier Point. A fire would be started on the point, and a ranger down in the valley at Camp Curry, would call out "Let the fire fall," and they would push the flaming embers off the point, and they would fall several hundred feet down the face. Anyway, one day a rather irate tourist comes into the office and demands to know when the rocks fall. My uncle was standing there, so he asked the guy what he meant. The guy says they've been sitting up on the Glacier Point road for 4 hours by that sign that says, "Watch for Falling Rocks." Here's Your Sign.....

[Normand]

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?


Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say, and we're working on new ones everyday!!

[Mike Ormsby]

The next time someone asks you a dumb question wouldn't you like to respond like this?


Yesterday I was at my local Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Sheriff, the Wonder Dog, and was in the checkout line when woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had, an elephant?

So since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again.

(I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.

I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff an Irish Setter's butt and a car hit us both.


I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Wal-Mart won't let me shop there anymore.

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say, and we're working on new ones everyday!!

Funny very funny....wish I'd thought of that when I still had the dogs and would be carrying bags of dog food out to truck that contained three large and loud Labradors (but only loud until told "No Noise"; guess they got excited at idea of eating...typical Lab LOL LOL)....and would be asked almost every time "Do you have dogs????" by some well intended person in parking lot....even though if they looked just a bit closer they could see the Labs in their crates

[Lake Erie High Ball]

Just off the top of my head

To a police officer:

-Can you hold this (reaching back behind them) flashlight to assist strip a car or handing back a beer.
-One bush to another: is he gone yet? Reply: are you blind?
-Do you have a light (once for marijuana and once for crack)
-Driver of auto with bumper sticker BAD COP NO DONUT: am I getting a ticket?
-Teenager after auto accident: Do you think my dad will see the damage (the car was 3 feet shorter than designed) I meant if I put the car cover back on.