Stupid Questions......

[Buddy Sanders]

We've been told over and over that there is 'no such thing as a stupid question'. Most of us who work with the public also know that this just isn't true....so, for the glory and for the fun (no money involved, sorry), how about posting your favorite 'stupid questions' you've had or heard about.

I'll start:

I'm a glass sculptor. I make small sculptures out of glass, mostly animals and such. I've done this all over the western half of the US, at fairs, art/craft shows, malls, etc.. I only do shows where I can 'demonstrate' (make my sculptures right there).

Years ago I was doing a show at a mall in Southern California. I'll never forget this...I was working on a large unicorn...back then you had to have lots of unicorns. Two middle aged ladies were seated on bench about twenty feet from me, watching me work.

They were chatting, watching me, and having a snack....after about twenty minutes of this, I saw one lady point to me and say something quietly to her companion.

This lady gets up and walks over to me. You have to picture this...I'm seated behind a burning torch with about 20 inches of flame shooting out and spreading around a piece of hot glass. The blue flame from the torch flares to a bright orange when it hits the glass.

The woman looks me in the eye and says:

"Excuse me, sir. Are you piercing ears?"

Whenever anyone tells me there is 'no such thing as a stupid question', I always remember this moment.

Anyone else have a 'stupid question' experience they'd like to share?

Buddy

[WarrenP]

Many years ago when I first started working at the college, I was assigned the task of pressure washing the brick on the outside of the buildings on main campus. I used a 2,500psi pressure washer which was powered by a 11hp gasoline Briggs and Stratton engine. While filling the gas tank on the unit, a faculty member was walking by and proclaimed:

"So that is how you are getting the outside of the buldings so clean; you are using gas!"

[Dave E]

Hi Buddy,

Thats a good one.

If I've heard this question once, I've heard it a thousand times...

Customer walks into the fly shop and asks, " How much does it cost to get started in fly fishing ? ".


Customer comes in with a small tin containing several flies that all have had their hooks broken and asks: Where do you keep the replacement points ?
Fly Shop Employee: Right over there next to the little acetylene tank, but our welder doesn't come in ‘til noon.
( he didn't need stronger hooks, just stronger casting skills. )

Fly shop employee rigging a new line on a new reel asks the customer, " What do you want on the end of this? " (meaning a mono butt, loop, etc. )
Customer answers: A Fish ?

Customer asks: What's a wading staff?
Fly Shop Staffer: The six guys you hire to carry all this stuff down to the river for you.

There are millions of them, but the one that ranks the highest with me, is the one that doesn't get asked. Help is always available.

Best, Dave




.

[Poke 'Em]

In my college electrical circuits class, our professor was an old man who always liked to tell a bad joke at the end of class. One day, it went like this: "...so if you're ever on a golf course and you find yourself in a lightning storm, you should just hold up a one iron, because not even God can hit a one iron."

Well, right as he finishes his joke, this moron in the 2nd row raises his hand to ask, with all seriousness, this question. "If you actually are in a lightning storm, would it be a good idea to stick your golf clubs in the ground and then lay down between them, so the lightning would strike your clubs instead of you?"

The professors looks at him for a moment and then says, "that is the stupidest question I have ever been asked. Class dismissed."

[Eight Thumbs]

Back in the gas shortages of the 70's when they still pumped your gas, I pulled into a station that had just run out of gas. The attendant came up and said "we just ran outa gas, truck won't be in til tomorrow afternoon, whats ya wanta do?" I smiled and said, "that's OK, we'll wait."

[Shaky Wadr]

A while back I stopped at my local convenience store to get a six pack of my favorite brew. A search of the refrigerator case revealed only a single carton with one missing bottle so I decided to settle for five.

I approached the check out counter and the young clerk informed me he couldn't sell me that because it wasn't full. I said, can't you just deduct for the missing bottle? He said, well I suppose but I can't figure out what one would cost. The carton was clearly marked. $5.99

[TwoWeight]

When my wife and I were first married, she was a decent cook, but, when frying chicken, she could not make gravy for the mashed potatoes worth a darn.

I would go to our local Kentucky Fried Chicken Restaurant and buy a container of gravy.

If the drive through was backed up, I would go inside. All I would order was a container of gravy.

The cashier would ask, "Is this for here or to go?"
My reply, "For here, just give me a straw."

I got some strange looks.

[MNFisher]

Years ago a few of us were scuba diving off a dock from a resort hotel. We brought the "treasure" we found - sonar transducer, fishing tackle etc. back to the dock. The activity drew a small crowd as we continued to bring items to the dock.

I found a 20# anchor that I was bringing to the dock when an elderly woman asked "Where did you find that, on the bottom?"

[desertman]

In the 60s I was stationed on a Submarine. You would be surprised how many visitors asked "Where are the windows at?" when we asked "what windows?' they would reply something like "the ones you use to see where you are going".
RY

[okflyfisher]

When I was in college a number of my friends worked Mackinaw Island( a famous tourist trap) during the summer. When they came back to school in the fall they had lists of unbelieveably questions that tourists had asked during the summer.

One I remember is "Does this island have water all the way around it?"
The fact that they had to get there by ferry did not deter them