Mark,
Quite a while ago, I went to the beginning of this thread and read a bunch of them. Never got all the way through to the end. 135 pages is a bunch.
Seems like lately, about all I do is throw up jokes on here. In with quite a few "old guys" that pass a bunch of jokes back and forth so the supply is almost limitless.
George
I know I love reading the old and new jokes. Everyone who posts here are great people
Nothing better than laughter.
A terrible event occurred at the laundromat. Seems like two brothers, Bob and Earl were doing their clothing and Earl dropped a $20.00
bill into the washer. Bob jumped into the washer to get the bill and was placed under arrest by the local police. Poor Bob has been charged with money laundering and awaits trial.
boo
It's snowing again-on top of the 9 inches we got Monday. We broke a record low temp for two days in a row (yesterday morning minus 11)
Most of these have been "re-runned" but I just can't help myself. Just have to throw them up there again.
George
It was so cold...
hitchhikers were holding up pictures of thumbs!
It was so cold...
roosters were rushing into Kentucky Fried Chicken and begging to use the pressure cooker!
It was so cold . . .
when I dialed 911, a recorded message said to phone back in the spring!
It was so cold . . .
the optician was giving away free ice scrapers with every new pair of eyeglasses!
It was so cold . . .
the squirrels in the park were throwing themselves at an electric fence!
It was so cold . . .
I chipped a tooth on my soup!
It was so cold . . .
Grandpa’s teeth were chattering - in the glass!
It was so cold . . .
the dogs were wearing cats!
It was so cold . . .
Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick!
It was so cold . . .
Levi Strauss started manufacturing electric jeans!
It was so cold . . .
the rats were bribing the alley cats for a snuggle.
It was so cold . . .
when we milked the cows, we got ice cream! When we milked the brown cows - we got chocolate ice cream!
It was so cold . . .
we pulled everything out of the freezer and huddled inside it to warm up!
It was so cold . . .
the politicians had their hands in their OWN pockets!
WE WERE IN ABILENE FOR SOME EARLY MEDICAL TEST. WENT TO DENNY'S AFTERWARDS.
The $4.99 Special
We went for breakfast at a Denny's where the Seniors' Special was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $4.99.
'Sounds good,' Rachel said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then I'll have to charge you $5.50 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' Rachel asked incredulously.
'Yes!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' Rachel said..
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' Rachel replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
True story.
It was so cold...... the kids had their pants pulled up
It was so cold...
I saw a dog frozen to a fire hydrant.
I'm either going to, coming from or thinking about fishing. Jim
A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.
Priest turned to the rabbi and asked,
Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?
The rabbi responded, yes that is still one of our laws.
The priest then asked, have you ever eaten pork?
To which the rabbi replied, yes on one occasion I did succumb to temptation and tasted a ham sandwich.
The priest nodded in understanding and went on with his reading.
A while later the rabbi spoke up and asked the priest,
Is it still a requirement of your church that you remain celibate?
The priest replied, yes that is still very much a part of our faith.
The rabbi then asked him, have you ever fallen to the temptations of the flesh? The priest replied, yes rabbi on one occasion I was weak and broke my faith.
The rabbi nodded understandingly, remained silent and sat thinking for about five minutes. Finally the rabbi says.
Beats the heck out of a ham sandwich, doesn't it? !
we need some laughs here
Here's a picture of how candy bars are born
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