We need some laughs here !!!

[Silver Creek]

Those Rowdy Irishmen!McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olives and placing them in a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "S'cuse me", said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done,"what was that all about?" "Nothin', said the Irishman, "my wife just sent me out for a jar of olives.

[Silver Creek]

Sexual Harassment......A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks...."What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies...."It's Keith, the midget."

[lastchance]

Sexual Harassment......A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him. The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks...."What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice? The woman replies...."It's Keith, the midget."

Now that's funny!

[Rick Z]

https://flic.kr/p/2pfFjNi

[gmac209]

A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow to come by and follow it." Sure enough, pretty soon a snow plow came by, and she started to follow it. She followed the plow for about forty-five minutes. Finally, the driver of the truck got out and asked her what she was doing. And she explained that her dad had told her if she ever got stuck in a snowstorm, to follow a plow. The driver nodded and said, "Well, I'm done with the Wal-Mart parking lot, do you want to follow me over to Best Buy now?"

[Uncle Jesse]

Why women needs a husband A Woman goes to a Psychologist and complains: ?I don?t want to marry. I am educated, independent, and self sufficient. I don?t need a husband. But my parents are asking me to marry. What do I do?? Psychologist replied : ?YOU, undoubtedly will achieve great things in life. But some things inevitably will not go the way you want. Some things will go wrong. Sometimes you will fail. Sometimes your plans won?t work. Sometimes your wishes will not be fulfilled. Then who will you blame? Will you blame Yourself?? Woman: ?NO!!!? Psychologist: ?Yes? That?s why you need a Husband!?

[Uncle Jesse]

I don't know if it's a record but it's a very good start, this thread that I think Farleycat started is 29 view shy of a million and a half.