We need some laughs here !!!

[DaleW]

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned back to camp alone, staggering under the weight of an eight point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked. The successful hunter replied - "Henry had a stroke o' some kind. He's back up the trail a couple of miles". "You mean you left Henry a layin' out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired. "A tough call" nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one's gonna steal Henry!"

[Old #art]

Texting for Seniors--


BFF - Best Friend Fell

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

TTYL - Talk to you Louder

BYOT - Bring Your Own teeth

LMDO - Laughing My Dentures Out

FWIW - Forgot Where I Was

IMHAO - Is My Hearing Aid On?

OMMR - On My Massage Recliner

ROFLACGU - Rolling On the Floor Laughing and Can't Get Up

[DaleW]

The Pilot and the Priest


A priest dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a guy who's dressed in sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket and jeans.


Saint Peter addresses this cool guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"


The guy replies, "I'm Jack, retired airline pilot from Houston."


Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the pilot, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom." The pilot goes into Heaven with his robe and staff.


Next, it's the priest's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Father Bob, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last 43 years."


Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the priest, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom."


"Just a minute," says the good father. "That man was a pilot and he gets a silken robe and golden staff and I get only cotton and wood. How can this be?"


"Up here - we go by results," says Saint Peter. "When you preached - people slept. When he flew, people prayed."

[Uncle Jesse]

This is an old joke down South, but I thought some of our Western and Northern friends might not be as familiar with it.

In a small Southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed great skill and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me. The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets. Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left.

At a "Quick Stop" on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "You damn Yankees never do read the Bible!" I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in the Bible. She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled through some pages, and finally jabbed her finger at a passage. Sticking it in my face she said "See, it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar.'"

[jcampbell]

Jesse,
Isn't it good to have the freedom to make fun of ourselves. As a native Mississippian I can appreciate this one.

[saltydancindave]

Jesse,
Isn't it good to have the freedom to make fun of ourselves. As a native Mississippian I can appreciate this one.

Well now that Christians have had their jihad to send one of the burning Bush's to the afterlife like those 9/11 terrorists hijackers with a patriot act......

[jcampbell]

Well now that Christians have had their jihad to send one of the burning Bush's to the afterlife like those 9/11 terrorists hijackers with a patriot act......

What??? Don't follow you on that one. No laughs here.

[Marco]

It’s a medication issue. What kind of a NUTcase, regardless what the hell was meant, would think THAT was an appropriate comment to post herein at this time ?
Mark

[jcampbell]

Marco,
I hope you meant inappropriate comment, which it certainly was! I don't know the guy who posted that, but I can only hope it was a medication issue. Very poor taste!!

[Steve Molcsan]

So what do you call a gang of us electricians ??

Wirenuts.