We need some laughs here !!!

[DaleW]

MEMORY....

Brains of older people are slow because they know so much. People do not decline mentally with age, it just takes them longer to recall facts because they have more information in their brains, scientists believe. Much like a computer struggles as the hard drive gets full, so, too, do humans take longer to access information when their brains are full.

Researchers say this slowing down process is not the same as cognitive decline. The human brain works slower in old age, said Dr. Michael Ramscar, but only because we have stored more information over time. The brains of older people do not get weak. On the contrary, they simply know more.



Also, older people often go to another room to get something and when they get there, they stand there wondering what they came for. It is NOT a memory problem, it is nature's way of making older people do more exercise. SO THERE.

Now when I reach for a word or a name, I won't excuse myself by saying "I'm having a senior moment". Now, I'll say, "My disk is full!"

I have more friends I should send this to, but right now can't remember their names.

So, please forward this to your friends; they may be my friends, too.

[ELHead]

It's alright to drink like a fish........... If you drink what a fish drinks !
Mary Pettibone Poole

[Old #art]

Just a relaxing day on the lake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY6A...ature=youtu.be

[Uncle Jesse]

Every time I see that I am reminded of sitting in my 12 ft. jon boat on Lake Lamar Bruce, north of Tupelo one Saturday morning when a F-4 fighter came through on a low level corridor that ran over the lake. I didn't abandon the boat but I think I had to check my underwear. A F-4 approximately 500 ft. above you at a high rate of speed is quite noisy.

[Panman]

Herman and the army... <

Fifty one years ago, Herman James, a West Virginia mountain man, was drafted by the army.

On his first day, the army issued him a comb. That afternoon, the army barber sheared off all his hair.

On the second day, the army issued him a tooth brush. That afternoon, the army dentist yanked out seven of his teeth.

On the third day, the army issued him a jock strap. The army has been looking for Herman for 51 years

[Uncle Jesse]

A sophomore pre-med student was struggling with differential calculus (as many of us did). He asked for a meeting with his advisor to discuss his options. The young student vented to his advisor, “I want to be a doctor, I will never use calculus in my practice! This is a waste of my time, calculus is useless!”

His advisor gave the student a knowing smile and replied, “No differential calculus is quite useful, it prevents idiots from becoming doctors.”

[DaleW]

here I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.

"Well, what are you gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a man crying."

"This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my wife with another man... and then my dog bit me.

"So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all. I buy a drink, I drop a capsule in and sit here watching the poison dissolve; and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!" But, hell, enough about me. How are you doing?"

[Panman]

One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head.
She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, 'Why are some of your hairs white, Mum?'
Her mother replied, 'Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white.'
The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, 'Mummy, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?'

[Bluegill Budd]

Jacques was a woodcutter way up north in Canada. He and his wife were looking forward to the birth of their first child. As the time got closer, they wondered what they were going to do as Jacques was due to go North with the crew to cut wood. So they asked Jacques? brother Henri if he would keep a careful eye on the mother to be. And he said he would. Well Jacques went north, and as he was returning some weeks later there by the side of the road was Henri waving the truck down. Jacques was excited and asked if the birth had gone well and Henri said it had. In fact, she had given birth to twins, one girl and one boy. That is wonderful Jacques said and asked what they had named the babies. Henri said he named the girl Denise and the boy Denephew.

[Uncle Jesse]

It was raining hard and a big puddle had formed in front of the little Irish pub.

An old man stood beside the puddle holding a stick with a string on the end and jiggled it up and down in the water.

A curious gentleman asked what he was doing.

'Fishing,' replied the old man.

'Poor old fool' thought the gentleman, so he invited the old man to have a drink in the pub. Feeling he should start some conversation while they were sipping their whisky, the gentleman asked: 'And how many have you caught today’?

“You're the seventh.”