http://www.wimp.com/magicclerk/
This is too good not to share. I don't stay up late enough to watch Leno but this is great.
http://www.wimp.com/magicclerk/
This is too good not to share. I don't stay up late enough to watch Leno but this is great.
Last edited by Uncle Jesse; 03-27-2013 at 08:44 PM.
Want to hear God laugh? Tell him Your plans!!!
The scary thing is that these people are allowed to vote.......
Vote nothing, some of them got elected.Originally Posted by Gigmaster
Want to hear God laugh? Tell him Your plans!!!
Good one.....
A young man walked into the local welfare office to pick up his welfare check. He marched up to the counter and said:
"Hi. You know, I just HATE drawing welfare, I really do. I love to work and would really rather have a job. I just don't like taking advantage of the system...getting something for nothing."
The social worker behind the counter said: Your timing is excellent and you're in luck. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his beautiful daughter. You'll have to drive her around in his 2013 Mercedes-Benz CL and the girl's father will supply all of your clothes and other needs.
Because of the long hours, even meals will be provided. You'll also be expected to escort the daughter on her overseas holiday trips. And, while this is bit awkward to say, you will also have, as part of your job, the assignment to satisfy her sexual urges as the daughter is in her mid-20's and has a rather strong sex drive."
The guy, his eyes and mouth wide open, said: "You're bullsh*tt*n' me!"
The social worker said: "Yeah, well...you started it."
Want to hear God laugh? Tell him Your plans!!!
That has got to be one of the funniest things I have seen in a LONG time.
I know, right? I still laugh when I see it.
"Trust, but verify" - Russian Proverb, as used by Ronald Reagan
I had to copy that and send it to my friends with a sick sense of humour - wife didn't see the humour in it.
MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O'Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there one afternoon, his cousin walked by.
"What are ye doing?" asked O'Bannon.
"Fishin'," said MacAndrews.
"Caught anything?"
"Ach, nae a bite,"
"What are ye usin' fer bait?"
"Worms."
"Let me see it," said O'Bannon.
MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin.
O'Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out.
"Have ye got a bite?" asked O'Bannon.
"No!" shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, "The worm's got a salmon by the throat!"
"A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her."
-W.C. Fields
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