We need some laughs here !!!

[ducksterman]

A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said "Thank god for that. What are they?"

[Steve Molcsan]

Why was the movie about fly fishing a box office flop?Bad casting.

[Tig]

Therefore practice practice practice. Good one Steve!

[gmac209]

Neighbor: How long have you been drinking? Me: about 30 years. Neighbor: How many beers do you drink each day? Me: Probably six. Neighbor: That's about $3200 per year, $98,000 in 30 years! Me: OK, so? Neighbor: With all that, you could have had a brand new Corvette! Me: Do you drink? Neighbor: No! Me: Where's your Corvette?

[Uncle Jesse]

School Principal: Johnny, why is your math teacher crying? Johnny: He has so many problems!!!

[gmac209]

A couple moved to a new city where they knew no one.She was an avid golfer who liked to get up early and hit the links. He didn't golf and liked to sleep late.She went down to the local golf course and encountered 3 men who were headed to tee off, so she asked whether she might play along. She explained that she had been a top golfer and went to university on a golf scholarship so she would not hold them up. They consulted and agreed.She played right-handed and smoked them massively, 4 under par on her first time on the course. They were amazed and enjoyed watching the level of play.She asked whether she might join them the next day, to which they agreed. She cautioned that she might be 15 minutes late, but they thought that would be OK.The next morning, she was right on time and played left-handed, 2 under. They were even more amazed. She asked if she could join them the next day, but asked again if it might be OK if she was 15 minutes late.The next morning, she was 15 minutes late, apologized, and was 4 under again.The following day, she was on time and prepared to tee off left-handed.One of the men had to ask, "We are really curious, one day you play right-handed, another left-handed. You caution that you might be 15 minutes late. What's that all about?".She explained, "I have this system. I lift up the blankets over my sleeping husband and look to see which way it points. If it points to the right, I play right-handed. If it points to the left, I play left-handed.One guy asked, "What if it's pointing straight up?".She explained, "Then I'm 15 minutes late!".

[Uncle Jesse]

Son: "Dad, will you do my math homework for me tonight?"Dad: "No son, it wouldn?t be right."Son: "Well, just do your best."