+ Reply to Thread
Page 122 of 129 FirstFirst ... 2272112120121122123124 ... LastLast
Results 1,211 to 1,220 of 1285

Thread: We need some laughs here !!!

  1. #1211
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    4,861

    Default

    Found this on Facebook, I had to share it with all my non-friends.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  2. #1212
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    4,861

    Default

    This is a fun and educational video that explains a lot about the difference in the thinking process of men and women.

    http://youtu.be/3XjUFYxSxDk
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  3. #1213

    Default


    A sweet grandmother

    Telephoned St. Joseph 's Hospital. She timidly asked, "Is it possible to speak to someone who can tell me how a patient is doing?"

    The operator
    said,
    "I'll be glad to help, dear. What's the name and room number of the patient?"

    The grandmother
    in her weak, tremulous voice said, "Norma Findlay, Room 302."

    The operator
    replied, "Let me put you on hold while I check with the nurse's station for that room." After a few minutes, the operator returned to the phone and said,"I have good news. Her nurse just told me that Norma is doing well. Her blood pressure is fine; her blood work just came back normal and her Physician has scheduled her to be discharged tomorrow."

    The grandmother
    said,
    "Thank you. That's wonderful. I was so worried. God bless you for the good News."

    The operator
    replied,
    "You're more than welcome. Is Norma your daughter?"

    The grandmother
    said,
    "No, I'm Norma Findlay in Room 302. No one tells me ****."

    TRUE STORY

  4. #1214
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mojave Desert CA
    Posts
    2,028

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Uncle Jesse View Post
    Found this on Facebook, I had to share it with all my non-friends.
    So we're your non-friends? That hurts man. Jim
    I'm either going to, coming from or thinking about fishing. Jim

  5. #1215
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    4,861

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by jimsnarocks View Post
    So we're your non-friends? That hurts man. Jim
    Jim, Ya'll are my favorite non-friends. I was tempted recently to make everyone my non-friends, but then my wife, who doesn't do computers, would bug me about what the family was up to.
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  6. #1216
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    4,861

    Default

    A recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than the men who mention it!
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  7. #1217
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    4,861

    Default

    Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; frequently humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.

    1. Where there's a will, I want to be in it.



    2. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on my list.

    3. Since light travels faster than sound, some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    4. If I agreed with you, we'd both be wrong.

    5. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

    6. War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    7. Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

    8. To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

    9. I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

    10. In filling out an application, where it says, 'In case of emergency, Notify: 'I put 'DOCTOR'.

    11. Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are sexy.

    12. You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

    13. I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not so sure.

    14. To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.

    15. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

    16. You're never too old to learn something stupid.

    17. I'm supposed to respect my elders, but it’s getting harder and harder for me to find one now.


    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  8. #1218
    Join Date
    Mar 2008
    Location
    Mojave Desert CA
    Posts
    2,028

    Default

    An average performance

    A biologist, a chemist, and a statistician are out hunting. The biologist shoots at a deer and misses five feet to the left. The chemist takes a shot and misses five feet to the right. The statistician yells "We got 'em!”
    I'm either going to, coming from or thinking about fishing. Jim

  9. #1219
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    Lake In The Hills. IL USA
    Posts
    3,445

    Default

    I'm told Jesus WILL forgive for this........
    A Irish ( of course) man is
    stumbling through the woods, totally

    drunk, when he comes upon a
    preacher

    baptising people in the
    river.



    He proceeds to walk into the water
    and

    subsequently bumps into the
    preacher...


    The preacher turns around and is
    almost

    overcome by the smell of alcohol,
    whereupon he
    asks the drunk,


    'Are you ready to find Jesus?'

    The
    drunk shouts, 'Yes, oi am.'



    So the preacher grabs
    him and dunks him in the water.



    He pulls him up and asks the
    drunk,


    'Brother have you found
    Jesus?'


    The
    drunk replies, 'No, oi haven't found Jesus.'


    The
    preacher shocked at the answer, dunks him

    into the water again for a
    little longer.


    He again pulls him out of the water and
    asks

    again, 'Have you found Jesus me
    brother?'


    The drunk again answers, 'No, oi I
    haven't

    found Jesus.'

    By this time the preacher is at
    his wits end


    and dunks the drunk
    inthe water again ---


    but this time holds him down
    for about


    30 seconds and when he
    begins kicking


    his arms and legs he
    pulls

    him up.
    The preacher again asks the

    drunk, 'For the love of God have
    you

    found Jesus?'





    (Are you ready for this????)



    The drunk
    wipes his eyes and catches his

    breath and says to the preacher,


    'Are you sure this is where
    he fell
    in?
    THAT being said, I'd rather be in Wyoming.

  10. #1220

    Default


    A guy goes into the confessional box after being away from the Church for years..He pulls aside the curtain, enters and sits himself down.


    There's a fully equipped bar with crystal glasses, the
    best vestry wine,



    Guinness on tap, cigars and liqueur chocolates nearby,


    and on the wall a
    fine photographic display of buxom ladies who appear to have mislaid their garments.



    Finally, he hears a priest come in:



    "Father, forgive me for it's been a very long time since I've been to confession and I must admit that the confessional box is much more inviting than it used to be".


    The priest replies,



    "Get out, you idiot. You're on my side".

+ Reply to Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts