? I tried to catch some fog. I mist.
? When chemists die, they barium.
? Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
? A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
? I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
? How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
? I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
? This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
? I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.
? I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .
? They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.
? This dyslexic man walks into a bra .
? I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
? A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
? What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..
? I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!
? Broken pencils are pointless.
? What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
?England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
? I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
? I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
? All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.
? I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
? Velcro - what a rip off!
? Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.
So I asked what the capital of Alaska is. He turned to the next guy an said, "I don't know, Juneau?"
Last edited by Uncle Jesse; 03-07-2014 at 05:38 PM.
It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain