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Thread: We need some laughs here !!!

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  1. #11
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
    Location
    NE Gwinnett Co., GA
    Posts
    4,862

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    PUN0GRAPHY


    ? I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

    ? When chemists die, they barium.

    ? Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

    ? A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

    ? I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

    ? How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

    ? I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

    ? This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

    ? I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

    ? I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words .

    ? They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

    ? This dyslexic man walks into a bra .

    ? I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

    ? A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

    ? When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

    ? What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds..

    ? I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

    ? Broken pencils are pointless.

    ? What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

    ?England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .

    ? I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

    ? I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

    ? All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen. Police say they have nothing to go on.

    ? I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

    ? Velcro - what a rip off!

    ? Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.




    So I asked what the capital of Alaska is. He turned to the next guy an said, "I don't know, Juneau?"
    Last edited by Uncle Jesse; 03-07-2014 at 05:38 PM.
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

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