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Thread: We need some laughs here !!!

  1. #1101
    Join Date
    Jun 2006
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    I was writing an article for a hospitality newsletter about male hotel staff members having sex with guests and was reminded of this joke.
    ================================================== ===================================

    A preacher became frustrated that a large part of his congregation was going water skiing on Sunday, rather than coming to church, so he said to his wife, “This Sunday, I’m going to preach about the evils of water skiing on Sunday.”

    Sunday came and the minister’s wife-ill with a virus-remained at home. As the minister drove to church, his doubts about parables found in water-skiing increased. Finally, he decided to abandon the subject entirely, and instead, delivered a brilliant sermon on sex.

    Later in the week, a matron of the church met the minister’s wife in the supermarket and complimented her on her husband’s magnificent talk.

    “Where on earth did he ever get all that information?” she asked. “He seemed so positive and sure of himself.”

    “I’m sure I don’t know,” the minister’s wife replied. “He only tried it twice and fell off both times.”
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  2. #1102
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    Nov 2005
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    Woodland, CA USA
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    A preacher was giving the children's sermon up in the front of the congregation. The topic of the day was "The Resurrection". The pastor asked his young charges if any of them knew what "Resurrection" meant.
    Silence.....
    Finally, one little boy timidly raised his hand and said, "I don't know what that word means, but I know that if it lasts more than 4 hours, you need to call a doctor!"
    ‎"Trust, but verify" - Russian Proverb, as used by Ronald Reagan

  3. #1103
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    Mountain Home Ar
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    True story! Talking on the phone with a women trying to explain fly tying. She said, after you catch and tie the fly to a hook, do you add the feathers?

  4. #1104
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    Western Washington
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    That's what I do and the worst ones are the midges. Larry ---sagefisher---

  5. #1105
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    Oct 2006
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    Lancaster, PA
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    Quote Originally Posted by sagefisher View Post
    That's what I do and the worst ones are the midges. Larry ---sagefisher---
    While not truly conventional, I use superglue for the midges. Just don't get it on their wings.
    A right emblem it may be, of the uncertain things of this world; that when men have sold them selves for them, they vanish into smoke. ~ William Bradford
    I finally realized that Life is a metaphor for Fly Fishing.

  6. #1106
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    Quote Originally Posted by PA Dave View Post
    While not truly conventional, I use superglue for the midges. Just don't get it on their wings.
    When you get into a discussion like this, you have to remember, the first liar doesn't have a chance.
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  7. #1107

    Default Old timers can stop you dead in your tracks--


  8. #1108
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    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  9. #1109
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    This morning I lucked out and was able to buy two boxes of .308 ammo.

    I placed the boxes on the front seat and headed back home, but stopped at a gas station where a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a short skirt was filling up her car at the next pump.

    She glanced at the two boxes of ammo, bent over and leaned in my passenger window, and said in a sexy voice, "I'm a big believer in barter, old fella. Would you be interested in trading sex for ammo?"

    I thought for a few seconds and asked, "What kind of ammo 'ya got?"
    It's easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled. Mark Twain

  10. #1110
    Join Date
    Dec 2003
    Location
    Shallotte, NC - USA
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    Gun control.

    It has already started at Cabela's Sporting Goods Store. There was a bit of confusion at their store this morning. When I was ready to pay for my purchases of gun powder and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed. When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out that she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the card-reader.

    I have been asked to shop elsewhere in the future.

    They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer!



    Be careful out there.









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