Etiquette Question (kind of long winded)...

[OSdave]

Just as a little background to preface my question: One of my best friends and I got into fly fishing about the same time (about 6 months ago), though he started about a month before me. He has already been out with a couple guides while visiting Colorado. We were both spincast fisherman for a long time before starting fly fishing - me casually since I was young, and he has been a pretty avid spincast fisherman his whole life. 90% of the time when I go fly fishing, it's with him. As it often seems to be the case among good friends, there is always a slight air of friendly competitiveness between us. Now, when it comes to fly fishing, I could not care less if I am "better" than anyone else, but he has this unspoken (and probably unintentional) attitude that he is better at it than me. It doesn't really bother me, but I do notice it.

I'm the perfectionist between the two of us, and I have read numerous books on casting and taken lessons at a local fly shop. He hasn't had any lessons, but said that one of the guides he was with gave him some tips. I have spent the last couple months since my casting lessons in my yard practicing my cast and I feel like I have a pretty respectable cast now. Sure it's nowhere near perfect, but it's a great base to work from.

So, here's the thing (finally) - the last couple times we've been out I've been watching his cast, and some elements of it really need work. Don't get me wrong, I know in the whole scheme of things, I'm an absolute beginner, but I know the principles pretty well from lessons and reading and really feel like I could help him. He's not really the type to try to troubleshoot his cast or take lessons, because he's happy with the way he's doing it. It just seems to me that this early in the game, you should start out with a solid basic cast and build from there - I would think it would be much easier to break bad casting habits now than a few years down the road. I'm just afraid if I offer any tips, I'll come off as an arrogant know-it-all, or that he will feel that I'M trying to be competitive. That's not the case though - I just want to share what I have learned to help him out.

So, I'm not really sure what my question is, maybe I'm just looking for advice on how to handle the situation. Do I offer to share some of the things I've learned? Do I casually recommend that he consider taking a lesson? Or do I just keep my mouth shut?

Thanks in advance for any advice. And please feel free to be completely open and honest - be it positive, negative, or otherwise.

[Gramps]

Did he tell you what the tips were that the guide gave him? If so, do they match up with what you're seeing wrong? You could bring up the subject that way. Especially if they match up with what you're seeing wrong.

[Jeremy]

....maybe I'm just looking for advice on how to handle the situation. Do I offer to share some of the things I've learned? Do I casually recommend that he consider taking a lesson? Or do I just keep my mouth shut?

Keep your mouth closed and keep it light and lively...friendly. Then compare his loop against yours, at 20 ft then 35 ft...trouty distance.. Go ahead...jibe him a bit to compare...

That...tells more than anything regarding casting.

And lastly, keep it light and fun...*G* Friends are what it's all about.

Jeremy.

[jeffnles1]

Is he catching fish?

The reason I ask is there are always more than one way to skin a cat.

Jeff

[flybinder]

Quite "simply"??
Leave well enough, alone!

Your situation/question, at least to me, is perfectly legit. "You're the perfectionist", (as you stated), and it's driving you crazy, because your friend isn't "doing it just right".
Personally, if you two are fishing together and have a great time, other than his lack of casting skills drives you nuts, leave it alone. It's not worth starting a rift, between the two of you, because of something so small and truly, insignificant.
Fly fishing, God only knows, has ENOUGH "elitist and perfectionist" in it, to ruin the sport for any one, if they let it get to them.

You also, said, "He's happy, the way he fishes". Fine! Then leave him alone! Now, if you see him continually making the same mistake, you could, almost jokingly, say to him.............. "Ya' know, I was always doing that SAME THING, until someone showed me.................." then if he accepts your help, fine. If not, drop it.

My fishing partner of 30+ years, was always a far, better and more accurate caster than I was. One day, after watching him in silence, I finally was smart enough to ask him, "HOW, for crap's sake, DO YOU DO THAT so easily?". He showed me, I learned it, and that was that!

Continue on the path that YOU'RE now on and as you improve, unless he's TOTALLY brain dead, he'll soon notice, you're shooting line further then he can, laying down your fly more gently, etc. and chances are, he'll soon ask you............."How, for crap's sakes, DO YOU DO THAT so easily?"
If, he doesn't, fine too. Just let him enjoy himself and you, enjoy your self and have a great time on the fishing trips, together!
My, opinion, anyway.

[Joe Valencic]

Here's my 2 cents!

If he's really a good friend, you should be able to make suggestions to him without it devaluing your friendship. Just remember the golden rule; "It's easier to ask for forgiveness than it is for permission." Offer your help, and if he jumps down your throat, then just apologize and let him cast like dork. I know this works because I have several friends that cast like dorks, despite my repeated offers of assistance. But that's OK, because they make me look real good when people watch us fish side by side.

Joseph the Insightful

[OSdave]

Thanks for the great replies! All very helpful advice. I think I'm just going to keep my mouth shut and concentrate on my own fishing. And, if he ever wants my advice, I will give it to him freely. Thanks again!

[Wild One]

Are you kidding me?

I'd let him have it. He'd get the tounge-lashing of a lifetime, I'd smack with my rod, then break his rod, then push him the water and hold him down until he gurlges "Uncle" under the water. Then once he's submissive I'd go Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) on him. I'd show him who the Alpha really is. I'd teach him how to do it right and then dunk him again just for good measure and make him ride home in the back of the truck soaking wet.



Actually, I'd let it be. IMO (I know I'll get tanned for this comment) too much emphasis is put on casting technique. If he's having fun, who the heck cares how he casts? I'd leave it be. UNLESS, he starts to notice how good your loop looks and how effortless your casting seems to be. When he's ready for a little direction he'll ask for it (hopefully) until then...he's comfortable where he is and that's great because the way he casts shouldn't determine how much you enjoy your time on the water.

OR, you could casually recommend a great read to him and give him a book or two that has helped you out.

[gutbomb]

I'd let him have it. He'd get the tounge-lashing of a lifetime, I'd smack with my rod, then break his rod, then push him the water and hold him down until he gurlges "Uncle" under the water. Then once he's submissive I'd go Cesar Milan (the Dog Whisperer) on him. I'd show him who the Alpha really is. I'd teach him how to do it right and then dunk him again just for good measure and make him ride home in the back of the truck soaking wet.

That's how we roll in the Buckeye state!!!!!!!!

[Wild One]

Damn right! Don't mess with...uh Ohio. (I couldn't think of anything else that rhymed with mess and Texas)