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One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her...

Herman and the army... <

Fifty one years ago, Herman James, a West Virginia mountain man, was drafted by the army.

On his first day, the army issued him a comb. That afternoon, the army barber...

I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was turn signal fluid."
Panman

I am a Seenager. (Senior teenager)

I have everything that I wanted as a teenager.

I don?t have to go to school or work.

I get an allowance (pensions).

I have my own pad. I don?t have...

You have to be a baseball fan to get this:

Get your fishing jokes ready because Mike Trout just homered off Anthony Bass

Catch and release?

Quote from MLB.Com

Tim

For some reason I found this somewhat humorous on Craig's list.

A guy complains on Craig's list about a fast food meal.

Here is another's response.


You're joking right? You would eat that...

WE WERE IN ABILENE FOR SOME EARLY MEDICAL TEST. WENT TO DENNY'S AFTERWARDS.


The $4.99 Special


We went for breakfast at a Denny's where the Seniors' Special was two eggs, bacon, hash...

A terrible event occurred at the laundromat. Seems like two brothers, Bob and Earl were doing their clothing and Earl dropped a $20.00
bill into the washer. Bob jumped into the washer to get the...

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to the Super Bowl game.
They had great seats right behind their team's bench.
After the game, he asked her how she liked it.
"Oh, I really liked it," she replied,...

Husband takes the wife to a disco.



There's a guy on the dance floor living it up - large break dancing, moon walking, back flips,the works.



The wife turns to her husband and says: "See...

I would just like to thank Uncle Jesse and others for their contributions . Its nice to start of the day with a laugh.

Tim

This may be a repeat. I received this from a non fly guy:

Give a man a fish and you've fed him for a day. Teach a man to fish and, if he turns into a dry-fly catch-and-release angling fanatic up...

Uncle Jesse: A true story.



This reminds me of our tour in Germany. We lived in a small town and the wife went to the local butcher shop for about two years where she bought most of her...

Extracted from Craigs list:

2 Dozen Free Goats
I have 2 dozen goats I need to get rid of. I had no idea raising goats would be this hard. These little blanks keep eating all my wife's flowers...

"Top Ten Reasons Why Men Prefer Guns Over Women"

#10 - You can trade an old 44 for a new 22.

#9 - You can keep one gun at home and have another for when you're on the road.

#8 - If you...

I would like to share a personal experience with my closest friends about drinking and driving........


As you well know, some of us have been known to have had brushes with the authorities...

ISN'T SCIENCE FACINATING



Did you ever wonder why there are no dead penguins on the ice in Antarctica ?

Where do they go?

Wonder no more ! ! !

Found on craigs list:


At the Easter morning services the pastor of the Baptist church had called all of the little children to the front of the church, dressed in their cute Easter outfits and...

Larry's barn burned down


and his wife, Susan, called the insurance company. Susan told the insurance company, "We had that barn insured for fifty thousand and I want my money."

The agent...

Excerpt from a political Blog:

"Scientists say the Universe is made up of Protons, Neutrons and Electrons. They forget to Mention Morons."


Panman

Due to recent budget cuts, the rising cost of
electricity, gas and oil, plus the current state
of the economy, the light at the end of the tunnel


HAS BEEN TURNED OFF



"Have a nice day

Making a baby. This is hilarious!

There is not one dirty word in it, and it is funny!--


The Patels were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their...

The older I get the more I enjoy jokes about kids. Heres one I found on Craigs List:

A little three year old boy is sitting on the toilet.

His mother thinks he has been in there way too...

Hope this isn't a repeat:



Four old retired guys are walking down a street in Naples, Florida.

They turned a corner and see a sign that says, Old Timers Bar - all drinks 10 cents.'
...

IDAHO SNOW

I just got off the phone with friend in Idaho
He said that since early this morning the snow has
been nearly waist high and is still falling.
The temperature is dropping below...