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For any musicians out there:

"What does that conductor mean 'more dynamics'? I'm already playing as loud as I can."...Peter LaBella, Chicago, 1987

"Sex is a lot like bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."...Woody Allen

paraphrased perhaps:

"We're all in the gutter. But some of us are looking at the stars."...Oscar Wilde

Bob

"Smith and Wesson beats four aces."...Murphy