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Type: Posts; User: kbproctor

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    Born a Lutheran ...

    Born a Lutheran

    Each Friday night after work, Ole would fire up his outdoor grill on the shore of Big Stone Lake and cook a...
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    An Alabama preacher said to his congregation,...

    An Alabama preacher said to his congregation, "Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie and one which a Christian community cannot...
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    A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and...

    A man was dining alone in a fancy restaurant and there was a
    gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table..He had been checking
    her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her.
    ...
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    ATMs

    ATMs

    For most men:
    1. Pull up to ATM
    2. Insert card
    3. Enter PIN number and account
    4. Take cash, card, and receipt

    For some women:
    1. Pull up to ATM
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    A Priest was being honored at his retirement...

    A Priest was being honored at his retirement dinner after 25 years in the parish. A leading local politician and member of the congregation was chosen to make the presentation and to give a little...
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    City Fisherman A fisherman from the city was...

    City Fisherman

    A fisherman from the city was out fishing on a lake in a
    small boat. He noticed another man in a small boat open his
    tackle box and take out a mirror. Being curious the man
    rowed...
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    Who!? ME? ...

    Who!? ME? http://www.smileyvault.com/albums/basic/smileyvault-angel.gif
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    THESE REALLY WORK!! I checked this out on...

    THESE REALLY WORK!!

    I checked this out on Snopes and it's for real! Honest! Would I lie to you?

    1. AVOID CUTTING YOURSELF WHEN SLICING VEGETABLES BY GETTING SOMEONE ELSE

    TO HOLD THE...
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    Deadwood? I thought you had been to my shop and...

    Deadwood? I thought you had been to my shop and hadn't said "Hi!" But then, it could have been one of those days I was someplace else when I should have been here.
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    How to Bathe the Cat

    1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.

    2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.

    3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him/her to the bathroom.

    4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids,...
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    Pregnant at 71

    A woman went to the doctor's office where she was seen by one of the younger doctors. After about four minutes in the examination room, she burst out screaming as she ran down the hall....
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    How do you identify a bald eagle? All his...

    How do you identify a bald eagle?

    All his feathers are combed over to one side.
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    Bears A married couple was vacationing in...

    Bears

    A married couple was vacationing in Yellowstone. The wife
    expressed her concern about camping because of bears and
    said she would feel more comfortable in a motel. The husband
    said that...
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    Banned from Starbucks!

    I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

    After a couple of...
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    If your gecko is broken, do you have reptile...

    If your gecko is broken, do you have reptile dysfunction?
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    Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy took...

    Jack was sitting on the plane when a guy
    took the seat beside him. The guy was an
    emotional wreck, pale, hands shaking,
    moaning in fear..

    "What's the matter?" Jack asked.

    "I've been...
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    For the Dog Lovers out there....

    Yesterday I was buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for the puppies, Guard Poodle and Coco, at Wal-Mart and was about to check out.

    A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told...
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    Grilled Cheese Sandwich...

    The waitress comes over and recognizes the family seated at
    the table -- Mr. and Mrs. Smith and their little son,
    Jonathan. She says, "Jonathan, what would you like?"

    He says, "I'll have a...
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    What Luck!

    A couple months ago, I entered a contest and ended up
    winning a few acres of swamp land below the flood plane in
    Mississippi. Before I knew it, right after that I won a
    $250,000 house, so...
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