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Understanding Engineers 1

Two engineering students were riding bicycles across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get the great bike?"

The second engineer replied, "Well, I was...

Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes that could have been wine.

They say we can have gatherings with up to eight people without issues. I don't even know eight people without issues.
...

Thanks Jesse. This old guy needed that. ;)

Ok. I'm saying something. ;)

It’s been a blessing being home with the wife for three weeks now. We’ve caught up on everything I’ve done wrong for fifteen years.

Mark,
Can you use them in place of toilet paper?

George

Texting for Seniors--


BFF - Best Friend Fell

BTW - Bring the Wheelchair

TTYL - Talk to you Louder

BYOT - Bring Your Own teeth

Once again, Jesse-- You done good with that one !

Five stars for that one, Jesse.

George

Stevie Wonder and Tiger Woods are in a restaurant having dinner. Woods turns to Wonder and says, "How's the singing career going"?
Stevie Wonder replies, "Not too bad. How's your golf"? Woods...

Back and forth . . ..
Back and forth . . ..
In and out . . . .
In and out . . . .
A little to the right ..
A little to the left . . . .
She could feel the sweat on her forehead . . . .
...

Just a relaxing day on the lake.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iY6AWs2QMbM&feature=youtu.be

1. I'm not saying let's go kill all the stupid people. I'm just saying, let's remove all the warning labels and let the problem solve itself.

2. I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds. People...

Wife From Hell

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir .'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I
had it on cruise control...

I think this is an old one but I will throw it out there anyway--


Medical School Entrance Exam




When I was young I decided I wanted to be a doctor,

With these, you don't need to call them or even need a rod to put them into the boat.
...

Awww, Man. Ugh. LOL

A priest and a rabbi were sitting next to each other on an airplane.

Priest turned to the rabbi and asked,
Is it still a requirement of your faith that you not eat pork?
The rabbi...

It's snowing again-on top of the 9 inches we got Monday. We broke a record low temp for two days in a row (yesterday morning minus 11)

Most of these have been "re-runned" but I just can't help...

Mark,
Quite a while ago, I went to the beginning of this thread and read a bunch of them. Never got all the way through to the end. 135 pages is a bunch.
Seems like lately, about all I do is throw...

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a old Army Warrant Officer in his early sixties and the other is a gorgeous blond in her mid-twenties.

The circus owner...

Uncle Jesse,

I resemble a lot of those statements. Maybe too many of them.

George

A woman who is 3 months pregnant falls into a deep coma. 7 months later, she awakens and asks the doctor about her baby.

Doctor: You had twins-a boy and a girl-and they are both fine. Luckily,...

I think this statement should be put in this forum-
What a sorry football game this super bowl has turned out to be.
Not a fan of either team. I was just hoping for a decent game. Last I saw, the...

Kelly,
Very sorry that the link has given you a problem. I ran it through my anti-virus before I opened it and again before I posted it to the board. I use AVG and not the free one. Have never had a...