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When you are dead, you don't know you are dead. All of the pain is felt by others.
The same with stupid.
Rick

https://flic.kr/p/2pfFjNi

One day a Brit Gen'ral is marchin' along wit' his regiment. After a bit they come across a hilloc and atop it is this braw scottish warrior holdin' a huge claymore above 'is 'ead. And 'e yells down...

Pie is $1.50 in Jamica

Pie is $2.50 in Haiti

Pie is $3.00 in Puerto Rico

That's the pie rates of the Caribbean

https://www.facebook.com/photo/?fbid=1334155883692945&set=gm.975822473291779&__cft__[0]=AZW7RvqNLC6ffc6SSczZjYvcL_FxYXeXuJsJN4QdhZMp0W4NjEVXfCk_J4DvwEgBJyXvOLHZR5Y_VbURRp90k_PKXcif3WaczI0RZIw_PTyWVaD5...

A Catholic Priest was teaching a young Sunday Scholl class. He asked "Why do I wear this collar?"
One of the young students replies. "Because it kills ticks and flees for months."

I asked my girlfriend if I was her one and only. She replies, "Yes". I said "really".

She said the rest were either 9 or 10.

There is a new Alexia coming out. It will be male. It will not isten to anything.

My neighbor sent her Alexa in as it was not working. They set it back saying it was in perfect condition.
She challed and said it was not working as it did not answer her question.
They asked what...

The Land Called Scotland



An Arab Sheik was admitted to Hospital for heart surgery. But prior to the surgery, the doctors needed to store his blood in case a need arose.

As the gentleman had...

Woman: What do I do with this ticket?
Officer: Save it. When you have four, you get a new bike.

Rick

A woman goes into Wal-Mart to buy a rod and reel. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the register. There is a Wal-Mart "associate" standing there with dark...

A couple that were both 98 years old appeared before a judge. They wanted a divorce.
The judge said he would grant it if they told him why.
They said they had to wait until all the kids died.
...

I ran around the block four times this morning.
Then I picked it up and put it n the toy box.

Rick

Senior Wedding

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, living in Miami, are all excited about

their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the

wedding, and on the way they...

A Priest, a Minister and a Rabbi were discussing life. The Priest said life started at conception. The Minister said life started at birth.
The Rabbi said that they were both very wrong. They both...

I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Had a huge vowel movement today.

Rick

The IRS sent my tax return back! AGAIN!!!! I guess it was because of my response to the question, "List all dependents", to which I replied, "12 million illegal immigrants, 3 million crack heads, 42...

Paraprosdokians are figures of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected; usually humorous. Winston Churchill loved them.


1. Where there's a will, I...

https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-frc3/q71/s480x480/969574_621929057834957_1883187622_n.jpg

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas, had a lot of potted plants. During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a...

God invented wives to be obidient and submissive in every corner of the earth.

Then she made the world round and has not stopped laughing.

Rick