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His Most Serene Highness General Antonio Lopez de Santa Anna and 5,000 troops. Davy Crockett on a wall by the Alamo. Same story same punch line, told to me by Miguel Almanzar in Spanglish in Las...

Bubba: What can you sleep on, sit on and brush your teeth with? Me: I don't know. What?Bubba: A bed, a chair and a toothbrush.

My fishing buddy grandson, Eddie, will graduate medical school June 3, this year and start residency in Reno, NV. I will have to tell him this story. Thanks. Jim

UJ. That's still funny after all these years. First time I heard it she wanted to marry Howard Cosell. Jim
Howard CosellHoward Cosell

The blonde lady went to visit her husband in the state prison. After the visit she confronted the warden, wanting to know why her husband was so overworked.
The warden laughed and told her all...

Mark, That's not a good place to play. Jim

If they ever catch you praying on the job, raise your head and say,........"ZZZZ, uh, huh?"

Uncle Jesse, That is a well used and timely allegory. My plumbing broke during this cold and wet weather we are having. I have a plumber in my back yard up to his knees in a hole dug around a broken...

Why we shoot deer in the wild:
(A letter from someone who wants to remain anonymous, who farms, writes well and actually tried this)
I had this idea that I could rope a deer, put it in a stall,...

Oldy but goody.

A man with two buckets of fish was leaving a lake well known for its fishing and was stopped by a game warden. The warden asked the man, "Do you have a license to catch those...

A blond man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers "Yes but I'm not sure what to do...it's for dry hair and I just wet mine."

A blond man spots a letter on...

[QUOTE
“No differential calculus is quite useful, it prevents idiots from becoming doctors.”[/QUOTE]

I don't believe this sentence was punctuated correctly. Of course, I could be an idiot, too.

https://scontent-lax3-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/49726449_10214777681581742_3215389534862704640_n.jpg?_nc_cat=108&_nc_eui2=AeHwyEtd_X2NJCCLDlySjRyBDG8oPz1icvxn8kU3PkhNJfbVMSYrqIo4Edcrcv6DGUUxPz56jLf0NAWn...

A fellow retired Park & Rec professional sends out a weekly email that usually carries some very good humorous stories/jokes... thought I would share this one from this week's edition... definitely...

Science tip
You can distinguish an alligator
from a crocodile by paying
attention to whether the animal
sees you later or in a while.

The other day I was going into the cement plant to fix the train. Security asked me, "You got any ID." I said, "Bout whut?"

A man wanted to have supper at an exclusive Supper club. Upon entering he was met at the door by the maitre'd who tells him a tie is required for entering. He goes back to his car and rummages around...

Marco. That sounds like a good investment. Jim

Two guys, one old, one young, are pushing their carts around the grocery store when they collide.
The old guy says to the young guy, ?Sorry about that. I?m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn?t...

Found a frog today, I picked it up and it said "Kiss me, Ill turn into a princess!" I stuck it in my pocket and went back to work. I heard mumbling in my pocket and took out the frog. It said "don't...

A young man with his pants hanging half off his butt, two gold front teeth, and a half inch thick gold chain around his neck; walked into the local welfare office to pick up his check.

He marched...

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?" "I don't know,"...

Why does a chicken coop only have 2 doors?

Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.

An Irish nun, badly needing to use the restroom, walked into a local Irish pub.
The place was hopping with music and loud conversation on this St.Patty’s Day -- and every once in a
while, 'the...

I get 87. Good one.