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A blonde driving a car became lost in a snowstorm. She didn't panic, however, because she remembered what her dad had once told her. "If you ever get stuck in a snowstorm, just wait for a snow plow...

A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a Quarter. Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. the dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts...

A couple moved to a new city where they knew no one.She was an avid golfer who liked to get up early and hit the links. He didn't golf and liked to sleep late.She went down to the local golf course...

Neighbor: How long have you been drinking? Me: about 30 years. Neighbor: How many beers do you drink each day? Me: Probably six. Neighbor: That's about $3200 per year, $98,000 in 30 years! Me: OK,...

A blond city girl named Amy marries a Wisconsin farmer.One morning, on his way out to check on the cows, the farmer says to her,'The artificial insemination man is coming over to impregnate one of...

A lady went into the pharmacy, right up to the pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said"I would like to buy some cyanide. "The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide? "The...

I went to church today. the preacher came over to me and said, "You will walk today".

I told him that I wasn't paralyzed, but he said it again with enthusiasm.

After the service I went outside,...

Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange.

When the waiter brought our...

Why do chicken coups have two doors?
If they had four doors, they would be a chicken sedan.

I told this in the car to my 13 year old grand daughter. She groaned for two blocks. It was beautiful....

While riding the commuter train the other day, the only seat available was next to this sexy blond. We struck up a conversation.

Suddenly she said, ?Want to see where I got my appendectomy?? I...

A burglar breaks into a home and holds the husband and wife in it hostage. At gunpoint, he forces the two to sit on chairs facing the opposite way, back to each other, and ties them to the chairs....

My wife is always going out of her way to make things simple


I just found this note which she left for me:

Hey Sweetie,
I'm at work.

Dinner is on the stove.

A little boy goes to his father and asks, " Daddy, how was I born?" The father answers, " well son,I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in an online...

A man was having an affair with an Italian woman

For several years, a man was having an affair
with an Italian woman. One night, she confided
in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to
ruin...

A farmer stopped by the local mechanics shop to have his truck fixed. They couldn't do it while he waited, so he said he didn't live far and would just walk home.

On the way home he stopped at...

It snowed last night......
We received about 2 inches of snow and ...
8:00 am: I made a snowman.
8:10 - A feminist passed by and asked me why I didn't make a snow woman.
8:25 - So, I made a snow...

MEN ARE JUST HAPPY PEOPLE
This needs no explanation – and is a fun read, no matter your gender.

Men Are Just Happier People
What do you expect from such simple creatures?
Your last name stays...

It's important to use good punctuation, period.
An English Professor wrote the words
"A woman without her man is nothing"

He then asked his students to properly punctuate the statement.

The...

Aye, Father O'Malley

Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day...

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I don't CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD?

WELL......YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE!

MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE...

How far is the drop from your basement window?

One morning a husband returns to the cabin after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out, since it is such a...

A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car.
His father said he'd make a deal with his son, "You bring your grades up...

Tech Support

As we Silver Surfers know, sometimes we have trouble with our computers.

Yesterday, I had a problem, so I called Georgie, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like...

The Cow, the Ant and the Old F@rt


A cow, an ant and old f@rt are debating whom is greatest of the three of them.


The cow said, "I give 20 quarts of milk every day, that's why I'm the...