That's an Aesop's fable isn't it?
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A man is sitting at home alone when he hears a knock on the front door. He opens it to find two sheriff's deputies there. He asks if there is a problem.
One of the deputies asks if he is married. He says, "Yes, I am."
The deputy then asks if he could see a picture of the man's wife.
The guy says, "Sure," and gets a photo to show them.
The deputy says, "I'm sorry, sir. But it looks like your wife's been hit by a truck."
The guy replies, "I know, but she has a great personality and is an excellent cook."
Ole lived across the Minnesota River from Clarence, whom he didn't like at all. They were yelling across the river at each other all the time. Ole would yell to Clarence, "If I had a vay to cross dis river, I'd come ofver dere an beat you up good, yeah sure ya betcha by golly!"
This went on for years. Finally, the state built a bridge across the river right there by their houses. Ole's wife, Lena , says, "Now iss yer chance, Ole. Vhy doncha go over dere and beat up dat Clarence like you said you vud?"
Ole replied, "OK, by yimminy, I tink I vill do yust dat!"
Ole started for the bridge, but he saw a sign on the bridge and stopped to read it, then turned around and came back home.
Lena asked, "Vhy did you come back?"
Ole said, " Lena , I tink I changed my mind 'bout beatin' up dat Clarence. You know, vhen I yell at him from across da river he don't look so big. But dey put a sign on da bridge dat says "Clarence is 13 ft. 6 In."
I just received this in an e-mail and hope I have the "shortcut" copied right and it shows up here. It is rather funny....
http://www.xtranormal.com/watch/7795583/a-new-fly-rod
Well I guess we should all turn in our nice vehicles and switch back to the horse and buggy and oh yea, sod houses, and living off the land..............but then again, I have a new nine foot five line four piece fly rod made from multiple carefully chosen high modulated fibers and a new space age resin system :)
Larry ---sagefisher---
I have a 10 year old Redington nine foot five line two piece fly rod made from graphite with a ten year old Pfleuger Medalist reel featuring palmable rim control loaded with five weight double taper Cortland floating line four seasons old. This rod features a medium action for excellent line control and casting distance as well as improved hook setting. The whole thing cost less than $175 when purchased new at G.I. Joe's which is now extinct. This rod gives me great pleasure and allows me to purchase all the four dollar a gallon gas I wish to drive my ten year old Chevy to the lovely trout stream of my choice....
.........Modoc Dan.......
"Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and Scientists can never earn as much as Business Executives and Sales People."
This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:
1. Knowledge is Power.
2. Time is Money.
As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time
Since: Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
It follows that: Knowledge = Work/Money.
Solving for Money, we get: Money = Work / Knowledge.
Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.
Conclusion: The less you know,the more you make.
Mom or Mommy Definitions/Translations http://www.obxconnection.com/outer-b...s/smiley36.gif
1. AIRPLANE
What Mom impersonates to get a 1-year-old to eat strained beets.
2. APPLE
A nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
3. BABY
1)Dad, when he gets a cold.
2)Mom's youngest child, even if he's 42.
4. BATHROOM
A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be
self-cleaning.
5. BECAUSE
Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically.
6. BED AND BREAKFAST
Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
7. CAR POOL
Complicated system of transportation where Mom always winds up going the
furthest with the biggest bunch of kids who have had the most sugar.
8. COUCH POTATO
What Mom finds under the sofa cushions after the kids eat dinner.
9. DATE
Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
10. DRINKING GLASS
Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
11. DUST RAGS
"DAD'S UNDERWEAR."
12. EAR
A place where kids store dirt.
13. ENERGY
Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do
something.
14. EYE
The highly susceptible optic nerve which can be "put out" by anything from
a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife.
15. FOOD
The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question "What's for dinner
tonight?"
See also "SARCASM".
16. GENIUSES
Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
17. HAMPER
A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing
dirty clothing.
18. HANDI-WIPES
Pants, shirtsleeves, drapes, etc.
19. HINDSIGHT
What Mom experiences from changing too many diapers.
20. ICE
Cubes of frozen water which would be found in small plastic tray if kids or
husbands ever filled the things instead of
putting them back in the freezer empty.
21. JEANS
Clothes which, according to kids, are appropriate for just about any
occasion, including church and funerals.
22. JUNK
Dad's stuff.
23. KISS
Mom medicine.
24. LEMONADE STAND
Complicated business venture where Mom buys powdered mix, sugar, lemons, and
paper cups, and sets up a table, chairs, pitchers and ice for kids who sit there for three to six minutes and a net profit of 15 cents.
25. MAYBE
No!
26. OCEAN
What the bathroom floor looks like after kids, assorted pets,
two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, car and animals.
27. OPEN
The position of children's mouths when they eat in front of company.
28. OVERSTUFFED RECLINER
Mom's nickname for Dad.
I, too, have a new, 9-foot, five-weight, four-piece fly rod made from multiple, carefully chosen, high modulus, carbon fibers bonded with a new, space-age resin system.
(And it didn't cost anything like a thousand dollars... Mine came from TFO and is a BVK, over-lined with six-weight line. It has helped me to catch more and bigger fish.)
Ed
Two men died and went to Heaven. St. Peter greeted them, and said "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but your mansions aren't ready yet. Until they are, I can send you back to Earth as whatever you want to be."
"Great!" said the first guy, "I want to be an eagle soaring above beautiful scenery!"
"No problem," replied St. Peter, and POOF! The guy was gone. "And what do you want to be," St. Peter asked the other guy.
"I'd like to be one cool stud!" was the reply.
"Easy," replied St. Peter, and the other guy was gone.
After a few months, their mansions were finished, and St. Peter sent an angel to fetch them back. "You'll find them easily," he says, "One of them is soaring above the Grand Canyon, and the other one is on a wading boot somewhere in Alaska!"