Hell explained by a Chemist
HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question:
Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added. This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct, leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.
A little naughty but funny
A Golf Story
A father put his three-year-old daughter to bed, told her
a story, and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying:
"God bless Mommy, God bless Daddy, God bless Grandma, and good-bye Grandpa".
The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye
Grandpa?" The little girl said,
"I don't know Daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."
The next day Grandpa died. The father thought it was a
strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and
listened to her
prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God
Bless Daddy. and good-bye
Grandma."
The next day the grandmother died. Oh my gosh, thought the
father, this kid
is in contact with the other side. Several weeks later
when the girl was
going to bed, the dad heard her say: "God bless Mommy
and good-bye Daddy."
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all
night and got up at
the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a
cat all day, had
lunch sent in, and watched the clock. He figured if he
could get by until
midnight, he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so
instead of going home at
the end of the day, he stayed there, drinking coffee,
looking at his watch,
and jumping at every sound.
Finally midnight arrived. He breathed a sigh of relief and
went home.
When he got home his wife said, "I've never seen
you work so late, what's
the matter?"
He said, "I don't want to talk about it. I've
just spent the worst day of my
life."
She said, "You think you had a bad day. You'll
never believe what happened to me.........
This morning my golf pro dropped dead in the middle of my lesson!!!
8T :)