saddened

Today about 1/2 hour ago my dad passed away. Although this is a sad occasion with much griefing for the living it saddens me at people. My mom is good with it. She will miss him but she had 47 good years with him. Maybe she has a better pespective then I do. My whole family was "Idon't care attitude" while he lay in his bed at home dying. Although he was my step dad I respected and loved the man as if he were my own dad. Iguess what saddens me is that my whole family did not talk bad about him as he lay in his death bed they did not talk good about him either. It was as if he was not there. I know everyone griefs in their own fashion and respect that but not to respect the man as he passes saddens me. I was his stepson and respected him more then his own children. That saddens me. The hospice nurse that stayed with us through this was very none jalaunt and treated this as oh well this hapens everyday in my life get used to it. I don't know maybe I am stupid or old and emotional who knows but this makes me very sad not just at the passing of a very good man but at the actions of the people who supposedly loved him. I just don't get it. Thanks for listening I needed to get this out somewhere.

Bob:

13 years ago yesterday my stepdad died. I cracked up at his funeral and as I write this there are tears in my eyes. You have our deepest sympathy. God bless you.

Tim & Gracie

Bob
I am sorry to hear of your loss, my prayers go out to you and your family.

Eric

Bob,
I know your pain and feelings of loss are very real to you. People grieve in their own way. By sharing what you've shared it is clear your grieving has begun. The only cure for grief is to grieve. Most of the time, it is a very long process. Hang in there, and thanks for sharing.

I know what its like... Both my parents are gone... Some hollidays are still hard for me at times... My prayers go out for you & the family...

Bob,

My prayers are with you as well. My family was the same with my Dad. I don't understand it any better than you do. If you figure it out, let me know.

I'm sorry to hear of your loss.

People do react in various different ways when someone dies. They may not even realize at the time that they've been like that.

My prayers are with your family.
Betty

Bob,

I hurt for you. Like everyone, I too have felt the pain you are feeling. My prayer for you is that you will have the peace that passes all understanding.

You have my prayers. Everyone grieves differently. When my dad had a stroke, he was incapacitated totally. He suffered in his frozen state for several months. I visited him often, but could never talk to him. Words would not come to me, and many intense emotions cursed through my body.
But the words just wouldn't come. I remember the only thing I said to him just before he died was, " I love you Dad." I thank God that I at least was able to say that before he passed. I'm just saying that grief affects everyone differently. Again, my prayers are with you.
God Bless,

Bob,

I am sorry for your loss. May the Lord be with you.

Bob,
My prayers are with you and your family.
Mike

I'm sorry for your loss & my prayers are with you. Everybody grieves in their own way .Sometimes it's easier on some people to just not face up to the reality of the situation. Maybe that's what was going on....

harleybob, this takes my breath away still. I lost my mother totally unexpected (never got to say goodbye, but she went in her sleep...the way I want to)
My husband an myself ended up moving in with my step father. This has not been easy by any means.
He could probably be okay on his own, but his sight has always been terrible.
He has a son that lived 5 houses up from us...but we are the ones that stepped up.
I made mention a month ago that I wanted to go home and get on with my life, and his birth daughter jumped all over me. (She lives in CA)

I still want my life back and I know this is not what my mother wanted for me.

My heart goes out to you!

Harleybob, So sorry to hear of your loss. I think some peaple deal with this sort of thing by ignoring it or pretending everything is normal, I guess its the only way they can cope.
I hope all the good wishes from this board help you get through this sad time.
All the very best.
Mike.

Bob,
I will keep you and your family in my prayers. Best Regards....

Our sincere condolences to you, we are sorry for your loss. Don't let the family get to you, they will have to face the truth eventually. We will keep you in our prayers too.
Hugs,
LF

Like many of those who've spoken up before me, I've felt the loss of someone very dear and I've seen the way that others have reacted. After my Fiance passed, I held things that her brother had said to me during that time against him and we drifted. He was a brother to me, and although I know we still love each other, I worry the damage has been done. In this time of stress and grieving, do not hold tight to the words and actions of others. Grieve in your own way, let them grieve in their's and when it all comes back around you'll be at peace once again.

My thoughts are with you.
Take care,

Brad

Bob I am sorry for your loss but happy for you that it was a loss. You took the time for him to make an impact on your life to feel loss. Indifference takes no time and feels nothing. For that I am sorry for them.

Respectfully,
Sean

My thoughts and prayers are with you and all involved that are close to you...

Sorry to hear of your loss. Take care.

- Jeff

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Originally Posted by harleybob87

Today about 1/2 hour ago my dad passed away. Although this is a sad occasion with much griefing for the living it saddens me at people. My mom is good with it. She will miss him but she had 47 good years with him. Maybe she has a better pespective then I do. My whole family was "Idon't care attitude" while he lay in his bed at home dying. Although he was my step dad I respected and loved the man as if he were my own dad. Iguess what saddens me is that my whole family did not talk bad about him as he lay in his death bed they did not talk good about him either. It was as if he was not there. I know everyone griefs in their own fashion and respect that but not to respect the man as he passes saddens me. I was his stepson and respected him more then his own children. That saddens me. The hospice nurse that stayed with us through this was very none jalaunt and treated this as oh well this hapens everyday in my life get used to it. I don't know maybe I am stupid or old and emotional who knows but this makes me very sad not just at the passing of a very good man but at the actions of the people who supposedly loved him. I just don't get it. Thanks for listening I needed to get this out somewhere.

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Bob,
My heart is breaking for you. You are such a wonderful guy. You made his life special because you realized that it takes love to make a dad. Genetics only accounts for a "Father". Dad is all about loving his children and he was indeed your dad!

Lord Jesus Christ, my savior, I humbly ask thee to wrap your loving arms around Bob. Give him peace of mind and heart in the knowledge that his dad now dwells in the house of the greatest dad of all, our Heavenly Father. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.

I come from a large family. At the time of my father's death, everyone gathered round, with the hope that each could do something in the way of support to my parents, and each other. Even with all the family around, I was struck by how lonely a process it is for the one who's preparing to depart. I can't help but think that as our own time comes, when we have to "walk that lonesome highway", and that "we have to walk it by ourself", that it would be a great comfort to have caring loved ones around us. You've filled that role very well, Harley, even if his children have not. They may not learn of that empathy until their own time comes. My condolences.

Thank you everyone for your heartfelt prayers and condolances.

hb87

Your families reaction is normal and so is yours, to an abnormal event, people are not connected to death and the dying in the way past generations were, they do not see it on the farms they see it on TV and that is just acting, or it happens "over there"

It was at one time very normal to have a relative dying in the family home, and not in a "retirement home or acute or extended care home".

So their reaction is normal, Plse do not hold it against them, or harden your heart to them. Hold on to the good memories and they will help you heal.

Your fathers care worker has found a way to toughen her exterior so that these losses do not hurt as much, as she see much more then a "normal" person or family member would..

I come by this knowledge or view honestly, I worked Ambulance for 8 yrs and 911 for 8yrs also.

My prayers and thoughts are with you, and yours..

Bob, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. I lost my dad 8 1/2 years ago. I still miss him.

May God be with you and give you the strength and courage to get through this very difficult time. People grievfe in many different ways and for varying lengths of time. If you have a Grief Support Group at a local church, I encourage you to take advantage of it. It will soon be 35 years since I lost my Dad, and I still miss him. Same goes for my Mom and my only sister, but I lost them much more recently.

Aged_sage

Bob:

I am very sorry to learn of your loss. May God give you the strength to get through tis very troubling time. I would encourage you to take advantage of a local Grief Support Group, if you have one. They help.

Bob - I can empathise. I lost my dad this past summer. November mom & dad would have been married 60 yrs. Although he suffered with Alzheimers for nearly ten years, then.... realization of the loss was no less painful. I can only pray for comfort and healing on your behalf. You/we are not alone...as the road is tread upon. You're not alone
Mike K.

My prayers are with you.

Man, Bob, I'm sorry for your loss. Remember all the good times with your Dad! You and your family will be in our prayers!

John & Vicki