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Loss of our son, Dan
Considered not posting this on the board; but, thought it might help or comfort others in a similar situation. This is still fresh and painful; but, through the prayers, thoughts and kind gestures we received from so many people we're doing okay.
Three weeks ago today we lost our youngest son, Dan, after a long and sometimes painful illness that he bravely endured. He and my mom shared the same birthday and it was also our wedding anniversary; so, he was "special" as a birthday and anniversary gift to us many years ago.
Words are inadequate to express our appreciation for all the wonderful care and efforts extended during Dan's prolonged illness; especially during the last painful year that included the loss of his sight and memory problems. The folks from the Hospice Care center and the Home Health nurses were especially kind and caring and we could never thank them enough.
Near the end Dan came to accept the God that he was so angry with for so long. His daytime caregiver relayed to us that whenever he seemed distressed he would repeat the "Lord's Prayer", over and over, and she would say it with him. She also taught him a few religious songs and he sang some with her.
Unfortunately, we weren't there at the end due to circumstances and living in another state. We had been notified that Dan wasn't doing well and that we should make plans to go to his home. We spent the day packing and making preparations. I had a premonition that we should have gone the night before even if it meant driving after dark and arriving late. I will always regret not following through on it. Next morning, just as we were about to leave, we received a call notifying us that Dan had just passed away. We were terribly saddened; but, would have been shocked to have arrived and found his bed empty.
Later on his daytime caregiver relayed to us his final words, which have given us much comfort, and are the point of this posting. We would like to share them with you all.
She arrived early and shortly thereafter noticed that Dan was either having some trouble breathing or was trying to say something. As he hadn't been able to speak much above a whisper the last few days, she went to his bed, bent over, and asked Dan what was the matter.
She said he then replied in a clear strong voice, " I HAVE TO GO NOW." She told him that his mom and I were coming to see him that day and asked if he couldn't hold on just a bit longer till we got there. Dan again replied clearly, " I HAVE TO GO NOW - WITH THEM!"
She told him that God loved him, we loved him and she did too and that if he really had to go it was okay. She said he then slowly exhaled one last breath and peacfully left this troubled world forever.
We don't know, and never will for sure, who his "escorts" were at the end; but, would like to think that God sent his angels for Dan.
His uncle Jim, who died last November, told us to tell Dan that he would be waiting for him. My mom died last December and a brother-in-law this April. They may have been among his "escorts" too.
Whether one "believes" or has faith, there are some things that are left to us to ponder and question and maybe to restore us in times of trouble.
You may share Dan's final words with anyone you wish; especially, if they are concerned with or facing death and dying or need some comfort along the journey.
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GrnMtMan
My sympathy and prayers to you and your family. I'm glad your son found during his last days, the peace that paseth all understanding.
Dave
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My deepest sympathies to you and the rest of your family my friend. May God comfort you all through these difficult times.
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I can only imagine the depths of your grief. I sit here with tears in my eyes for you (though we've never met) because the loss of a son is plainly more than I personally would be able to cope with. I daily go through a series of mental exercises asking the Powers Above to protect and care for each of my five children.
I will share your story with my wife, who I am sure will also feel a deep grief for you.
Stand tall, we're all with you during these days of travail.
Silvertop
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That must have been awfully tough on you, but thank you for sharing. Sounds like Dan was very special, and it is obvious where he got that from.
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My deepest sympathy to you and yours.You have comfort in the fact that you know he was not alone at the appointed time. He had company,Them,to walk into the afterlife with.He will watch over you and maybe be there a long time from now when perhaps the Lord will alow him to walk with you into the afterlife.It is of little comfort at this time but try and let it be.
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GrnMyMan,
I'm saddened by your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and the rest of your family.
Allan
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I also want to thank you for sharing your story with us. I know how difficult it must have been to type it out. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Joe
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Grn Mt Man,
I'm so sorry for your loss. Please know that.
Thanks for posting about your son. One can never know until they've been where you are. And your story was inspirational, to say the least.
Peace to you and your family.
Jeremy.
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Grn Mt Man,
I sat here and read your post while crying my eyes out. I lost 12 family members within a two and one-half year time period.
What tore my heart at the core was the mention of "escorts". I vividly remember before my mother passed, while laying in a comatose state that she brief sat upright in the bed and announced to a wonderful nurse that "Kyle had came to get her".
Kyle was her 5 year old grandson who passed a year earlier from brain cancer/tumor.
What floored me the most was that while my dad and I were away eating a meal and getting out of the nursing home for a bit was to hear this news upon returning.
We found her lying in her comatose state and I knew in my heart of hearts that things would be okay as no one at the place of her care knew anything of "Kyle" so I knew it wasn't a story that someone fabricated.
It does add comfort to the pain.
Thank you so much for sharing and I know you know what I mean when I say " I understand how you feel"!
Peace be with you and your family.
RkyMtnGuy