The decision to let her die
I have had to make that decision over the last few days and it troubles me that my mother will starve to death over the course of a week or less. That seems so inhumane. You have in effect made the choice of death by not inserting a feeding tube in the stomach, or continuing medication except for morphine and oxygen. So why not be allowed to have the choice of having her pass on in a peaceful way rather than wasting away slowly? I know if I had the option I would have chosen what is not allowed and would want the same for myself. So the choice is made to let her die. There is more agony and suffering in the waiting for the eventual end to come. I ask again why is it OK to do nothing and let her lay there for days vs. doing something to end her life peacefully?
Jerry
Re: The decision to let her die
While I will refrain from voicing my own moral/ethical views here, let me just say that I am sorry. You have my condolences. I can't imagin what you, your family and your dear mother must be experiencing, but you do have my prayers.
Re: The decision to let her die
Jerry,
I am very sorry for what is happening in your life. Your situation is in my future and it's tough to think about.
I pray that you and your mother will have peace.
Doug
Re: The decision to let her die
I, too, will offer only my heart-felt sympathies at this time of need. You and yours are in our thoughts....
Shari and Bill
Re: The decision to let her die
Jerry,
I am so sorry. I cannot even fathom having to make such a decision. I'll keep your mother, you and your family in my prayers.
I wish you peace my friend.
Marty
Re: The decision to let her die
I will echo what others have said and will tell you that you and yor family are in my thoughts. I cannot imagine the pain you must be going through, but if I could offer you any strength, I would gladly do so.
Brad
Re: The decision to let her die
Jerry,
Just after Christmas last year, my Mother decided (at age 90) that she'd had enough. She suffered from stroke induced dementia, and other infirmities of the aged. She decided. She refused to eat, she refused liquids. Her little system slowly shut down. The medical staff kept her comfortable. The expresion on her face let us know that she was at peace, and she slowly faded away. It took about eight days, but there was no pain, no anxiety. Just a peaceful calm on her face. She took her gentle, final breath on Jan 9th, and joined my Dad.
Love her, and let her go. In her time. My love and prayers are with you.
Betty
Re: The decision to let her die
Jerry,
I have responded twice to your Post and they do not show up, so, I have sent you a PM and hope you get it. I KNOW what you are going through and your feelings. I went through this 1 1/2 years ago with my Dad and I hope my long PM will help in some way.
Re: The decision to let her die
While my grandmather lay dieing in a morphine state, we all knew the end would be soon...but when. I leaned over and kissed my grandmother on the forehead, her eyes closed and her breathing ever so softly. As I pulled away from the gental kiss I said softly, let go grandma, you will be with Cecil soon...it was only seconds and she expired. I was the only one in the room that night....I swear I remember a tear falling from her eye as she passed. One still falls from mine as I fondly remember her as the vibrant woman she once was.
I was raised by my grandfather and grandmother. My dad was killed in Korea and my mom died young. Grandma passed away in 1992, she was 94.
Sorry to take some away from your post Dot Man, I just wanted you to know you are not alone in your greif and sorrow. I feel for you ever so much and you and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers. Jonezee
Re: The decision to let her die
Jerry - I'm so sorry you are facing this situation! Remember that you have friends that care, and would do anything to help you. You can call anytime - day or night if you want to talk. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Your friend ALWAYS.........Ed