And in the stock market today----

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05-07-2010, 12:03 AM
Old #art

And in the stock market today----

Helium was up. Feathers were down. Beef steered into a bull market. Paper was stationary. Fluorescent tubing was dimmed in light trading. Pencils lost a few points. Hiking equipment was trailing. Elevators rose. Escalators continued their slow decline. Weights were up in heavy trading. Light switches were off.

Mining equipment hit rock bottom. Shipping lines stayed at an even keel. The market for raisins dried up. Coca Cola fizzled. Caterpillar stock inched up a bit. Balloon prices were inflated. Scott Tissue touched a new bottom. Knives were up sharply. Sun stocks peaked at midday. Diapers remain unchanged.

George
05-07-2010, 12:53 AM
Marco

Fortunately the ONLY window i was able to jump out of today was a basement window. I am a poorer man today. I have squandered most of my money but SOME of it I spent on WHISKEY.

Mark
05-07-2010, 01:20 AM
Bass_Bug

I'm still chuckling over that George.
05-07-2010, 10:41 AM
Eight Thumbs

Idiots R US

The scary part of that huge drop was that it was all caused by a glitch in a computer program or a mistake on the part of the large trading firm "Idiots R Us." 8T :(
05-07-2010, 11:38 AM
Lotech

George,
Your reports are better than the Dow.
05-07-2010, 01:18 PM
Bass_Bug

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eight Thumbs

The scary part of that huge drop was that it was all caused by a glitch in a computer program or a mistake on the part of the large trading firm "Idiots R Us." 8T :(

D @mn computer people!!!!
05-07-2010, 01:48 PM
Uncle Jesse

You would think that anytime the word "Billion" was entered on a computer on Wall Street it would automatically come up for verification "Did you really mean BILLION? ___ Yes ___ Awe Cr*p No - please check one"
05-07-2010, 05:42 PM
EdD

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bass_Bug

D @mn computer people!!!!

Including the ones who run this website?

I strongly disagree!

Ed, a computer person for other websites
05-07-2010, 06:00 PM
Backcastwards

I was so lucky!!! My wife called me Wednesday morning at work and was concerned about our investments. The market had been dropping and she was uneasy. I told her to move everything to cash. We got out just in time. Now to get back in at the right time.
Gary
05-07-2010, 06:36 PM
Bass_Bug

Quote:

Originally Posted by EdD

Including the ones who run this website?

I strongly disagree!

Ed, a computer person for other websites

I was being facetious, I AM one of those "computer people" myself.