ok - I felt really stupid...

alright - I"m cleaning out some stuff from our shed tonight, and I come across this aluminum tube that says 'signal flair'...

yea, those of you who know what this is are probably starting to chuckle here. well, I had absolutely no clue what this thing was so I determine to fire it off in my back yard. now - over 1 of my fences is a field that is about a half of a mile across, and on the other 3 sides are neighbors. (good thing the field is my fathers)

anyway I see this tube, and it has a cap on it maybe 3" long, and the tube is maybe 14" long. it has a primer in the bottom that looks like it shoots a bullet. I'm thinking this thing is like some kind of industrial road flair, and I've never lit a road flair before. I'm thinking ok I'll try this thing out.

so I point the thing at maybe a 70 degree angle, through a tree, and hit the cap on the bottom. nothing happens, I push it on a little harder, nothing happens (this is at arms length away from my face). well - I pull the cap so it's just hanging on, and slap it against the bottom.

needless to say what happened next we far beyond what I was expecting. this thing makes a big 'whoosh' sound, and I see smoke up in my tree. as I'm looking at the tree for several seconds, and investigating this 'smoke' I see 4 fireballs land in the field about a 1/4 of a mile away.

well - about this time I hear my father yelling who was over at his house, behind it, in the hot tub with the jets running, and still heard this stupid thing go off. they thought it landed just over a hay stack which was about 100 yards away. so here is my father rounding his house in his swim suit (VERY out of character for him) yelling asking what happening, here I am with a laugh on my face, white knuckled still in shock, searching for a fire extinguisher to go investigate these fire balls that fell into the field!

so I'm trying to explain to him, in his agitated state, that there was no danger to the stack yard because the stupid thing cleared it by at LEAST 300 yards!

no harm was done, and after good investigations nothing was on fire (thankfully it rained this morning).

anyway - moral to this story is if your ever find an aluminum tube that says 'signal flair' it is not a road side flair!

Hey Solo,
So if the tube said "dynamite" , you would have tested that TOO????

Mark

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marco

Hey Solo,
So if the tube said "dynamite" , you would have tested that TOO????

Mark

---

oh yea, but I would of known what it was & how to handle it lol

This all cracks me up, a cartoon classic event for sure:p:p:p

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Steve Molcsan

This all cracks me up, a cartoon classic event for sure:p:p:p

---

Steve you have NO idea - I felt very sheepish, but a guy can't keep a story like this to themselves no matter how humiliating it was.

Having had considerable experience with those type flares (both colored varieties and white parachute) I could have told you what it was had I been there. As I wasn't there, I'm glad you had the good sense to share that story with all of us. You know you'll never live it down.

REE

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Marco

Hey Solo,
So if the tube said "dynamite" , you would have tested that TOO????

Mark

---

I can't speak for solowookie, but you can bet that I would.

Brad

The last one (parachute type) I fired "in the field" went up in the air about 20 feet, made a 90 right turn and flew a couple of hundred yards at 20 feet altitude before the chute deployed...They can do some pretty wierd stuff.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kaboom1

I can't speak for solowookie, but you can bet that I would.

Brad

---

considering your username is 'Kaboom1' I can imagine you would lol

those famous last words...

"Hey Yall!!!!! Watch This!":p

I can only bet that your Dad was highly impressed.
Every time I do anything controversial and my wife is around she is always quick to pay me a compliment so I dont feel embarrassed.
Usually along the lines of "Thank God your cute 'cause you sure arent bright". Is'nt she sweet?
Bet your folkes were thinking somthing complimentary too. :)

oh - my parents did NOT think it was funny, well at least until I read my account of this to my mother this morning, and then she laughed hardy seeing both sides. my father, well, he's still not smiling at all...

That brings back a old memory of my first Army National Guard Annual Training (AT) I was a lowly PFC with the 1/108th ACR at Camp Shelby, MS. Thinking they had placed me where I could do no harm being a few months back from Basic and AIT I was stationed well in the rear of the action during the FTX. Adjacent my post was a squad tent with ammo in the back and officers cots in the front of the tent. Someone without thinking or giving me any instruction gave me 3 aerial flares and told he how but not when to fire them. The first two I fired off at random moments without incident. The problem was to end at 2400 hr. so around 2345 I figured if I didn't fire the last one they would come and take it in the morning, so I fired it. It hit a tree limb, richocted into the tent with the officers, cots and ammo. Once in the tent the flare lit, it really lights up a tent. Chinese fire drill is probably a good descriptions for what those young LT.'s did exiting the tent.

It was a don't ask don't tell incident; no one ask me and I told no one who shot the flare. No one was hurt but it was pretty funny at the time hunkered under a tall pine tree in south Mississippi.

awe Jesse that is a great story I'm glad you shared... the ways this incident make me laugh seem to be limitless!