Received a resignation letter today----
I got this today from my Snow Shovel!!!
Dear Mr. Bill,
This letter is to inform you of my resignation effective immediately in light of the most recent Winter Storm Warnings. In other words, don?t go looking for my *** in the garage tonight because I will be on the next bus to Florida.
I would like to thank you for the opportunity to clear all of the snow from your patio & driveway in recent months. It is not very often that one gets the chance to participate in such an exercise in futility. The repetitive battering that I received leaving me bent, scratched, insecure and feeling inferior as a snow removal implement, I know now will only better me as a shovel in my future endeavors. While I had hoped for a long and fruitful career in your company, the hours I logged in February alone has lead me to re-evaluate my future goals and quality of life. It is through this self analysis that I realized I would be better served as an employee in the Sunshine State. I am thinking of possibly serving ice for really large margaritas or copious amounts of sun screen for very large, pale beach goers.
I have greatly appreciated being a critical member of your winter team and would like spend my remaining hours before my bus arrives finding you a suitable replacement. While I don?t know any bobcats, back hoes, snow blowers, bulldozers or even suitable farm machinery, I am willing to make contacts to meet your future snow removal needs.
Respectfully,
Scraper S. (Sunshine) Shovel
p.s. if you happen to see Mother Nature or even anyone from the Weather Channel, tell them to go *@%K themselves.