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I agree with Rich, I guess. I love my 4 wt, but have been fishing forever, and used my 5 wts for a long time before the 4. But the most discouraging thing when you are trying to learn to cast is to have the wind blow it back in your face, which is less likely to happen with the 5 than the 4.
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I am agree with both of you.
But here is my idea, get her a fast or med/fast rod in #4 for the weight of the rod and load it with a 5WF to learning the cast and feel the loading of the rod http://www.flyanglersonline.com/bb/wink.gif