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BBQ Rules
BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:
Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of the woman.
Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.
More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery..
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat
Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.
(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.
And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.
(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed ' her night off ' and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women!
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Truer words have never been spoken. This should be required reading--and if nothing else, on the NY Times best seller list.
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:cool: It's moments like these that I thank the goddess for my no-man-zone lifestyle. :cool:
And don't even think of blaming me for that beer/coffee/soda you just sprayed all over your keyboard. ;)
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OK you men who follow this dont go expecting any suger and spice. later on
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These BBQ Rules are also known to be a good way to cause a D-I-V-O-R-C-E. Picture Tammy Wynette sining in the background.
Larry ---sagefisher---
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Larry, you and the ladies have it all wrong. This is not about men being in charge at all! This is another example of the subterfuge women use to control men. What is not mentioned in "The Rules" is that it is the woman that determines what will be cooked and when. Yes, my friends, "The Rules" have evolved into just one more way that women control their men.
This is one of the many ways my wife lets me believe I am in charge. Now, I do know different, but it is my wife that determines we are having a BBQ. It is my wife that determines what I am cooking. It is my wife that hands me the meat at the time of HER choosing to be cooked.
Yes, this is mind control, pure and simple. It has been handed down from mothers to daughters for untold generations and will continue to be handed down for thousands of years to come.
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Wasn't there an old movie -late 50' early 60's that the mother is giving advice to her soon to be wed daughter. The mother's secret was a little book on how to train your puppy- proper rewards and sublte training techniques make for a happy puppy (aka husband) that thinks it is independant and making its own choices.:confused:
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Sure glad my wife don't read this board!
I shall remain silent on this how true it is post... :)
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i thank God (God is God neither male nor female) i don't have to live by these rules!
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Let me simplify the rules of the BBQ for all. Around our house she says "It's your grill so you do it" and that means all of it. End of conversation. Any further conversation will result in the man going on a liquid diet until the doctors remove the wires from his broken jaw.:lol: