Spent the Whole Day Wondering

It was busy at work today and I don't feel like I got too much accomplished. I spent most of the day wondering how many people would be there and what kind of "Memorial Service" it is going to be for Linemender (Cary Morlan). It's scheduled for 1:00 PM this coming Saturday, July 17th, in Moses Lake Washington. I'm torn between two feelings. I want to be there, and will be, but I really don't want to be there to say goodbye. I think these kind of emotions are common with funerals/memorials. My life has a big hole in it knowing that he has gone on, and I'm a lesser person with his absence. I am, however, a better person for having known him. Thanks Cary for your friendship. I will cherish it forever.

Joe,

My heart truly aches for you. One never really knows what to say at times like this, so please forgive me if my words are empty and bring you no comfort.
A few years ago I was standing on the rocks during low tide at the Strand in South Africa. I was playing 'Flowers of the Forest' on my bagpipes for my father as he wept. He had asked my to play it, but didn't say why. When I was done I asked him why. He said that it was his way of saying farewell to all the friends he lost in the Rhodesian War (we are from S.A. originally). It was one of the very few times I've ever seen my dad that emotional. We had one of those good, deep chats about life and death as we walked down the beach.
...My experience in S.A., in regards to funerals, is that they tend to look at death a little differently...with that said, as we walked and talked, dad explained to me why. To paraphrase; a funeral is to celebrate the deceased's life...I mean to truly celebrate it. My dad said to me that God brings people into our lives for many different reasons. Some are there for but a moment, others for all our days, and others fall somewhere in-between. But the secret to mourning their loss, is to celebrate what they are to us. I've pondered our conversation many times since then, and have come to realize the truth to that statement. The best thing about a friendship like that, is that it never dies...the memories live on in our lives and hearts forever. It is easy to see that his friendship is greatly cherished by all those that knew him, and it always will be, to me, thats something to celebrate! With that said, it's ok to miss him too.
Like I said, it's hard to know what to say in times like this. I normally wouldn't say much of anything, but I felt led to share this with you. I hope you find some comfort in my words.

TT.

Beautifully said. Thank you.
Hugs,
LF

Thanks Lotech. I can not be there tomorrow in body but I will be with you in spirit. Cary was a great friend to many of us fly fishing folks. Even though tomorrow is a busy schedule for me, I am planning on wetting a fly for a short time in Cary's memory.

Bob Widmaier

Joe,

When my very close friend Eric died a couple of years ago, I went to his memorial service. Many people spoke of what Eric had accomplished; personally, professionally, as a fly tier and fisherman. When I took my turn, I commended those memories and then took a different perspective. I suggested that we were each blessed to have had a part of our lives formed anew, in a special way, because Eric had taken an interest in spending time with us. He would challenge someone's faith in a gentle way. He would lovingly tell you that you were on a wrong path, either physically or mentally, if he disagreed with your behavior. He'd call on the phone just to say hello because he truly cared about you. He'd stop and see me at work to laugh about me working and him going to the river... We were all blessed by his influence. We are better people, better fly fishers, better parents and better spouses because of Eric's influence. Today, I still miss him and yet I am not sad. I maintain the tradition that he started with me of having one cold beer at the end of a day fishing to honor his memory. He was a great man and blessed my life.

Please "celebrate" Linemender's life as TT suggested or as I have described how I do with Eric's memory.

Best Regards....

Many thanks to each of you. You all have something valued to say and I understand what each of you have to offer. I wish you all could be there tomorrow, but I understand that it is impossible. Each of you have offered your love and concern for Cary and his family and that means lots to me. I hope his family can gather as much comfort from your words as I have.
There is a place in the world for the word Love and I use it here. I love you all for your heart-felt condolences and I'm sure Cary's family does too.
Thank you all so much.

I hope you will take this as I meant it. This works for me:

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened."
Dr. Seuss

My Grandfather, Henry Washington Albert, was born in 1890. At the age of 10, he was taken out of school by his father, and apprenticed to learn how to become a mason. At the age of 10 he was carrying hodge's of brick and mortor up the ladders of the the new Central High School in St. Paul MN. No safty lines or nets! Carrying loads of 50 pounds up these homemade ladders on the side of the 4 story tall building to the masons that where laying out the next row of bricks.

My grandfather beleive in moral statements, as inspiration for events in his life. One of his favorites was; "Everyone we meet in life give us happiness, some by their arrival, others by their departure!" I am sure that Linemender (Cary Mortan) was one of those who were the former and not the latter. I have lost many of my close friends in life, who made a difference in my life, by just being there. All of them still are alive in my heart and mind.

I truly beleive that it is not a case of saying good-bye, instead it is more like "See You Again Later" when it our turn to cross over and they will be there waiting to welcome us back home! ~Parnelli

Parnelli,

Well said. Best Regards....