This story is about Alex and it is a true story, but his name has been changed to protect the innocent, namely Roe in case he reads this.
Alex likes to hunt and fish, he just isn't lucky and is a little out of shape for the things he want's to do. Take the time he went hunting in the National Forest. He was still-hunting on the side of a steep ridge, when he slipped, fell, and rolled down to land on a gravel road. He didn't know how long he laid there since he was knocked out. Another hunter driving down the road found him lying there unconscious and thought he was dead.
Fishing hasn't been any better for Alex. Take the time my wife and I found a huge school of White Bass feeding on the surface on Lake Norfork. I called Alex and told him to follow us to the fish the next morning. Just like the morning before we stopped the boat at the edge of the school, my wife and I made a cast and were hooked up to fish. Alex had his youngest son and a neighbor in the boat. They each made a cast using the same type lure, his son and the neighbor hooked a fish, Alex had nothing. This went on for 2 or 3 hours, everyone catching fish on every cast, everyone except Alex. I think he caught six fish that morning.
Then there is the time he was going to catch some Shad for bait. He went up one of the creeks to throw a cast net in the shallow water. He put the loop of the rope around his wrist, threw the net, let it sink, and was pulled out of the boat. The net had caught a large Gar fish. When he got back into the boat, he decided he didn't need any Shad that morning.
Then there was the time he was launching his bass boat early one morning while it was still dark. He launched the boat with no trouble, parked the truck and trailer and walked back to the dock. Another man was backing his boat into the water as Alex put one foot onto the boat, the other boat hit his, Alex fell, hit his head on the boat and went into the water. The water was shallow, so when he stood up, the man launching his boat got out of his truck, saw what he had hit, jumped back into the truck and took off.
One of the dry storage box on his Bass boat always got water in it every time it rained. There wasn't a drain hole so he decided to drill a hole to let the water drain in to the bilge. He told his son to drill a hole into the side of the box, and went into the house. When he came out, his son had drilled a hole through the outer side of the boat below the water line. Guess who got the blame?
Alex wanted to go turkey hunting, and I told him he should scout for turkey around the lake shore. He launched his Aluminum boat with a small motor, and went around the lake calling for turkey. The lake has many large rocks under water. He hit one with the motor and broke a shear pin. He paddled to shore, and tried to lift the motor into the boat. He and the motor fell overboard. He finally got the motor to shore; he started a fire, took off his clothes and hung the clothes up to dry. He tried to flag down a passing boat when a woman on the boat shouted to her husband, "Look at the naked man jumping up and down on the shore."
While his clothes were drying Alex was trying to figure a way to get back to his truck and trailer. With no tools in the boat he took two rocks and pounded a nickel until it fit and replaced the shear pin. When he made it back home he called his dad in Wisconsin and told him what had happened.
His Dad laughed and asked him why he didn't use the shear pin that is mounted on the motor's frame?
I almost forgot about the diaphragm Turkey call incident. Alex went to Wal-Mart and bought the call, went out to the parking lot, unpacked the call and tried it. There was only one problem, Alex has a low gag reflex and threw up the call and his breakfast at the same time. When he came home he cut down the edges of the call until he could but it into his mouth without gagging. He still hasn't learned how to use it.
Then there was the time his wife wanted to go camping at the lake. The lake is only ten minutes from his house so it's no big deal and he agreed to go. He launched his boat, parked the trailer and came back to the campsite. The sites are raised a little so they will drain if it rains. Alex parked his vehicle and started to put up his tent when someone shouted that his vehicle was rolling toward the lake. Alex said, "No, my vehicle is right here," pointing to the empty parking spot. He looked toward the lake and saw his truck push over a small tree, just miss a drinking fountain where a little girl was getting a drink, and roll into the lake. By the time he got to his truck it was in the lake with the lights on, the windshield wipers running and the horn blowing. There was one thing in his favor, the vehicle was in park and the insurance company gave him a better settlement than he would have gotten if he sold it.