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Since my husband JC and I are card-carrying Christians,
the perfect gift has already been given to both of us.
The birth of Jesus, the reason of course for Christmas.
We can't top that, but there is one nearly perfect gift
which does not cost any money at all.
Time.
I mentioned in my last column here, the results given in
our local newspaper to the tests given to 10th grade students,
and how badly the boys scored. The whole story is even worse.
Across the whole country, test scores for boys lag considerably
behind girls.
Girls do mature faster, and there are various theories on whether
that is the reason girls are testing higher, or if perhaps girls
learn differently than boys. As a parent who actually survived
raising children, I'm not sure at all it makes much difference.
It seems to me we have been in the 'education' business in this
country long enough to have a handle of how to teach both boys
and girls. Duh.
As a country we seem to grasp at whatever 'socially' correct
teaching methods are being touted this year. Some schools
systems go through total make-overs to gain a perceived
advantage only to find the old basics really were better.
In fact, in the aforementioned article the reading scores
showed boys passing at a rate of 57%. Meaning nearly half
of the 10th grade boys failed!
With more and more manufacturing jobs going overseas, the
kids coming out of high school simply must be able to
communicate better. That means reading and writing skills
have to be good. Or perhaps I should say "gooder" so today's
kids can understand? We must turn around the notion that
"it's cool to be dumb!"
I wish I could remember the TV program where I saw this, or
who the people were, but one of the things which just floored
me was the claim that 75% of kids graduating high school today
cannot fill out a job application or balance a checkbook. No
snide remarks here on balancing checkbooks - but what that means
in reality is those same kids are not going to get good jobs.
Micky D better start building more places, fast. And you parents
better plan on having those kids living at home for a very long
time.
Getting a good education is a basic requirement. As a parent,
I know full well all kids are not college material. But there
are trade schools and apprenticeships which do allow those kids
to make a very good living. I have one daughter who is a licensed
Master Plumber.
Getting kids interested and willing to learn is not the job of
the schools and teachers. They can help by tuning their
classes to keep the kids interest, but the real job is yours.
Hey! Isn't that what I pay taxes for? To support the schools?
Hire good teachers?
NO!
Surprise, the desire to learn and to grow starts at home. It
begins with the parents, (you) taking a real interest in whatever
your kids are doing. Being an involved parent. When the kids
are young it is reading to them. Introducing them to books,
later on, reading with them, then discussing what you had read.
No, not the TV. And no, not the computer either.
Yes, there are good, fun, learning programs for the computer for
kids. But they are only as good as the parent at their side
explaining what is happening to the kid. Putting it into context.
Many years ago I pulled my three daughters out of public school
when the school system decided it was not nice to give out grades.
They certainly did not want the children to be competitive. What
were they thinking? They just gave out a pass or needs work
grade. The parents had no idea of how the kid was doing. Bizarre.
And of course, it 'wasn't nice' to hold a kid back. That was the
beginning of 'Social Promotion.' I wasn't the only parent to yank
kids out of public school, but it took four years for the school
to go back to grading. I suppose it was a lot more work to do
the grading too, but that was about the beginning of the teacher's
union there as well. You can see the handwriting on the wall, right?
Yes, it takes time to read to kids, or to spend time with them
on the computer. Play stations and all may be fun, and some
actually may inspire some creative thought - but it is not a
substitute for parental involvement. Yes, it is harder to raise
them then to just let them grow up. So what? It's your job.
Most schools have a Christmas break or vacation (sorry if you
live somewhere which has buckled under the PC crap) - but the
kids are going to be home. I know you have a job and
responsibilities and probably not enough time to do everything
you would like to, but make it a number one priority to set
aside some time every day, (during a family sit-down evening meal
would be ideal) to talk to your kid(s) about what they are doing.
What are they interested in? Who is their favorite teacher?
Favorite class? Least favorite? These are conversation starters.
You might tell them about your favorite teacher and why that person
made a difference in your life. Get a common frame of reference
going.
If your kids are going to be home 'alone' during the break
because both parents are working, how about making up a chore
list. Give them jobs and rewards for the jobs well done.
It doesn't have to be a financial reward, treats and extra
privileges works too. What you want to avoid is those kids
sitting in front of the TV or computer screen all day unsupervised.
Do your kids know you EXPECT them to do well? How have you
conveyed that? Screaming and yelling when bad grades show
up on report cards is not a positive influence.
Is this about fly fishing? No.
But in my mind, fly fishers are the very best group of folks
I've ever had the privilege of being associated with. They
are also more responsible. Nothing like trying to get a message
through to a bunch of folks who couldn't care less. I believe
fly fishers care.
As a parent, grandparent, aunt or uncle, you can do something
now which will bear fruit for the rest of these kids lives.
Anyone can just let a kid grow up. It takes a responsible
person to care, and to put the TIME and effort into raising them.
It is about time, your time - the perfect gift. ~ DLB
If you would like to comment on this or any other article please feel free to
post your views on the FAOL Bulletin Board!
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