November 30th, 1998
New Club; Send Lots of $$$
One more this week. It seems like I get about one a
week. I don't think I really do, it just seems like it. If they don't come in
the mail, I see them offered on TV. Send your money here, there, everywhere.
Use your credit card; fast, easy, join now! Become a charter member! It used
to be that I could count the number of 'Fly Fishing Organizations and Clubs'
on the toes of great-uncle Obie. He had ten toes, four on one foot and six on
the other. But, alas, no longer. They seem to be multiplying. The 'Clubs,' not
Uncle Obie's toes.
Till next week, remember ...
So, my good friends, it is here and now; with the greatest
of pride I am announcing a 'club' for all of us who have not yet been lured into
the nefarious web of the 'Club Makers.' To and for those of us who have not
been ready to ship off our $$$ to some unknown, unheard of, untried, and
otherwise unbelievable outfit scratching and grubbing for our hard earned
bucks, I say hold on a sec!
Now, please don't get me wrong here. There must be
some good outfits out there. There just must be! There has to be some who
really do use your $$$ to help fight this/ that, and lobby for this/that, and/or
do otherwise very important stuff. Just have to be. Now, I am a team player,
you bet, I belong to a whole bunch of 'em. Send my $$$ off each year. The
thing to do. The right thing to do. We have to support the guys who are
supporting the guys who will be the future of fly-fishing.
There is hope for you. You need not be on the
outside any longer. No more a non-contributing scourge on society, a slacker,
a ner-do-well. This is for you! The independent group of non-joining fly-fishing
procrastinating enthusiasts; (IGNJFFPE). [ webmaster, please put stupid logo
WOW, is this outfit kewl, or what! Just what you have not
looked for for years, perhaps longer. If you have not yet joined some major
organization, then you are already pre-qualified (a term used frequently these
days) for you show the exact qualities for application for membership.
You display a bit of indifference, a reluctance to
blow-yer-cash, an attitude of 'aw, so what,' (very admirable and rather
common attribute in to days society). For you have just found your
organization. Yes, friends, this is it. The only place where you can apply
(if and when you ever get around to it) to be considered for membership
(for what it may be worth) and be assured you will not be accepted. Yes!
Neat, huh? So far; no one has made it, but don't let that stop you. The
standards are very high. However, you can always tell 'Bubba', or Tad
that "Heck pal, I sent in my $$$ but, they dint 'cept me!"
You can explain how ya lost out on the free divorce counseling,
the free bus trip to Hawaii for bone fishing, the month-long all expense paid
vacation with Ann Margaret; all of the stuff. The trip to 'Tyson's Chicken Farm,
(where you got the pick of the flock), to Texas and got seven of the 'losers',
the GL Loomis 'Mad-Grab-what-ya-can-run-through-the back-room' shopping
spree. But you tried. Bless you, ya tried.
So, if this is for you, send lots of $$$. You just have to
know that it will be put to good use. Sorry, the application fee is not refundable,
but thanks for 'giving yer best shot.' Remember, we're all in this together,
we're pullin' fer ya!
Darn, too bad too. There was a nifty arm patch, bumper
sticker, decal for your window, and a shiny new bell for your tricycle. ~ JC